Always and Forever
by PurePeace
Summary: An epistolary fic between Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, taking place after the trials. It starts with irritation and relucant gratitude and ends - hopefully - with romance, always and forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **We hereby renounce any unrealistic claims we might potentially have made regarding ownership of all elements of the Harry Potter series – we do not own it!

**AN: **_Always and Forever_ is an epistolary fanfic written in letters. This chapter is the only one where an actual scene will happen - the rest will be in letters (so far anyway).

PurePeace is the collaborative penname for me (Leximaven) and catrites. All communication by Harry and his peeps will be written by Cat, while I'll be writing for Draco and his minions. We're both very busy people, and this fic is a strictly stress-free zone, so don't be hanging out for regular, frequent posts. For added info check out our author page.

In the meantime, enjoy!

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><p>It started with a box.<p>

Draco was sitting in the breakfast room with his mother, discussing their plans for the day (which room to clean and repair, the best way to contact the aurors should they come across anything Dark, who to talk to about freeing up some portion of the Malfoy vaults), when an owl flew through the open window.

There was a package hanging from its leg by a string – a long, thin, rectangular box. The owl settled on the back of the chair opposite Draco, fixing him with an unmoving gaze. It balanced perfectly on one leg, sticking out the other to be freed of its burden.

Ignoring the expectant owl's leg, Draco pulled out his wand. When he was entirely certain the box was free of hexes or curses, he offered the creature a treat with one hand, pulling the strings apart with the other.

The moment its burden had been lifted, the owl took to flight once more – apparently it hadn't been told to expect a reply. Draco looked down at the package.

_Draco Malfoy  
>Malfoy Manor,<br>Wiltshire, England_

He recognised Potter's messy scrawl., and for a moment was stunned into stillness. It really shouldn't surprise him, seeing as Potter had just single-handedly kept he and his mother out of Azkaban, but… Harry Potter sent Draco Malfoy a package, without even attaching a stinging hex? There was just something unsettling about that.

He set the box down across the table and stared at it over his coffee, all conversation with his mother forgotten in deference to the thoughts in his head.

After a few minutes, however, Narcissa got tired of being ignored, and cleared her throat delicately to grab her son's attention. When he glanced up, she merely continued to sip at her peppermint tea, avoiding his attempts to catch her eye. (Narcissa's lessons in manners had always been unlike the other society mothers'.)

Draco sighed. "Yes, Mother? Was there something you wanted to say?"

The elegant lady glanced up from her perusal of Mrs Zabini's morning letter, feigning surprise as flawlessly as only she could.

"Hmm…? Oh darling, you have a package! Aren't you going to open it?"

Draco frowned, as if this idea hadn't even occurred to him. "But Mother… It's from Potter."

"How lovely! Draco, why didn't you tell me you two were in contact?"

"Because we're not! He just sent me a box. For no reason."

Narcissa leaned forward minutely, covering Draco's hand with her own. She spoke as if to a young child. "Then perhaps you should open it, darling, and find out what the reason _is._"

Draco _would not _scowl at his mother. He wouldn't. But that didn't mean he didn't want to. Instead, he simply gritted his teeth and said, "Potter can _wait_. I'm busy." His mother sniffed elegantly, returning to her letter and granting him no further attention. But she'd made her point, as clearly as if she had snorted in derision. Draco's mother thought he was mental.

When Draco had finished his chocolate croissant, and was moving on to peaches and yogurt – all while looking _anywhere_ but at Potter's Box – his mother finished the last of her tea and stood. She collected the morning's correspondence and swept towards the door, powder blue day-robe floating on the breeze behind her. Before leaving the room, she offered one last piece of 'advice' (Narcissa's advice was always followed).

"Don't sulk forever Draco. Whatever you may think of him, Harry Potter saved our lives. You may be the Malfoy heir, but you are my son; I raised you to be nothing if not gracious."

And with that proclamation she was gone, her delicate scent lingering in the room.

Sulking… Draco Malfoy did not sulk! Scowling – now that his mother was absent – Draco leant across the table with a sigh, and picked up the package. Pulling against the resistance of the weak sticking charm, he removed the lid, and pushed away the top layer of cotton to reveal – a wand.

Hawthorn, ten inches, unicorn hair; it was his wand. Potter was giving back his wand. The wand that defeated the Dark Lord, and he was giving it _back _to a known Death Eater.

Draco dropped the box as if burnt, leaning back in his chair and staring at the familiar length of wood. His breakfast sat forgotten.

He'd intended to buy a new wand. Maybe. If he felt the need for one. Or maybe he would just stop using magic; it only seemed to complicate things, after all. If he'd been a squib he would've been useless to You-Know-Who. Granted, he would probably be dead – but didn't that seem to be the better option some days?

Yet now, here was the wand of his childhood, back within reach of his hands. The wand that had helped him perfect those clumsy hexes; the wand that had duelled with Potter countless times; the wand that had repaired the Vanishing cabinet; the wand that had disarmed the greatest wizard of all time; the wand that couldn't kill him. This was the wand that understood Draco.

Long minutes passed, and the memories and fear gradually ebbed away. There was a soft, summer-scented breeze blowing in the window; the room was filled with sunshine and light; the hawthorn wand could change with him again.

Draco reached out with one shaking, elegant hand. His fingers touched the surface of the wood, curling to grasp the smooth handle.

There was no bright flash of light, not like the first time he touched this wand. But it felt familiar, and natural; it felt like it had never left his hand. There was no trace, so far as Draco could tell, of the powerful magic it had channelled mere months ago – Potter's magic.

Draco felt the same tingling pull in his fingertips as he rolled the smooth length of wood between them. It was like his power was being drawn into that hand, into that movement. Without a specific intent, without words being spoken, nothing would happen – the magic just continued to build and flex, pushing at the confines of his will.

But would the hawthorn wand work for him now? Would it serve to channel his magic the way it used to? There was only one way to find out.

He pointed the tip at the package, still sitting on the polished wooden surface. He considered – what was the most appropriate spell, as his first with his wand in months? Something ironic? _Incendio, _perhaps. Or something simple?

"_Wingardium leviosa."_

And there it was, the single thread of magic connecting his wand tip to the box, this box that had been connected to Potter, this wand that had been almost a _part _of him. He tugged the wand up, and up lilted the box; he moved his wand to the left, the box flowed to the left; he moved his wand to the right, and the box followed its every move, swaying as his hand shook, tilting, but always moving, floating, over the table, over his mother's empty place setting, towards the door—

Oh. He was being watched.

Narcissa Malfoy stood in the open doorway, hands pressed against the wood as if to brace herself, eyes on the stick of wood in his hand.

The pause was momentary, almost short enough to be imagined, and then she flowed into the room, bestowing Draco with a smile that reached her eyes.

"How kind of Harry to return your wand."

Before he could respond, she had reached into the still floating package and plucked out a scrap of parchment. She scanned it, face unreadable.

"Draco, dear, tell me before you send a reply; I want to add my own message."

Reply? The moment he realised there was a message, Draco was desperate to read it. How would Potter explain _any _of the past year's events? Wands changing allegiances; faerie tales come to life; exactly what went on behind the closed doors of he and his mother's trials; why in Merlin's name he was returning the second-most famous wand in the Wizarding World to his school rival…

Draco restrained himself while Narcissa deposited the parchment neatly on the table by his elbow, feigning nonchalance. He waited while she pursed her lips in amusement and left the room once more – then he pounced.

His eyes fell eagerly on the words…

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><p><em>Malfoy,<em>

_Congratulations on the result of your trial._

_Recently, I fixed my own wand, so I figured you'd like to have yours back. So, here it is._

_- Harry_

_P.S. Tell your mother 'thank you' for what she did for me._

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><p><em>Potter—<em>

_First I must thank you for the return of my hawthorn and unicorn hair wand; it was unnecessary, and a gracious move on your part._

_Secondly, what the hell are you up to now? Surely not even you have enough 'good will', stupidity –call it what you will – to simply __return__ the weapon that killed the Dark Lord to a wanted criminal. So name your price._

_When did you become so close to my mother? She's been calling you 'dear' all morning. In fact, when have you ever spoken more than two words to one another? No one keeps secrets from me, Potter, not about my family._

_With reluctant gratitude, and much irritation,  
>Always and forever,<em>

_D. Malfoy_

_P.S. How __did__ you fix your wand? And why, couldn't you just buy another? What about the Elder Wand, not good enough for you? And how in Merlin's name did I become wrapped up in all that?_

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><p><em>My dear Mr Potter,<em>

_You are most welcome – but you must know, I did what I had to in order to protect my family. I was moved by no concern for your well-being, or the well-being of our society; my motives were entirely selfish.  
>Despite that, however, I find myself glad you survived this war, and I would like to thank you in return, for all you have done for our world. You are an inspiring young man.<br>Miss Weasley is a most fortunate young lady. The blessings of my family, the House of Black, on you both._

_Sincerely,  
>Narcissa Malfoy<em>

_Oh – and I apologise for my son's rudeness; he will regret it. I hope you do not allow his and Lucius' behaviour to shape your opinion of all Malfoy's – the House of my marriage was not always as it is._

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><p><em>To be continued! Reviews are definitely appreciated, especially since this is a joint effort between Leximaven and I! (yes, it's Cat writing the endnote. weird, right? yeah...) Anyways, PLEASE REVIEW!<em>


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Harry Potter! It allll belongs to people who make a whole lot more money than we do.

Welcome to chapter 2! As Lexi said in the first chapter, the fic is an epistolary, so there won't be many outside scenes, and instead it will all take place in letters. Lexi is writing for Draco, and I (Cat) will be writing for Harry! We hope you guys enjoy!

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><p><em>Dear Malfoy,<em>

_Woah, man, calm down. I don't get anything out of returning your wand, and I don't want anything. I'm pretty attached to my own wand, so I just figured you'd feel the same and want it back. I don't want you to feel like you owe me anything—I mean, I stole the wand from you in the first place. Consider this me making it up to you. Seriously, it's not a big deal. _

_As for your mother, I honestly thought you knew. Even if she hadn't told you, the trials were pretty highly publicized, and since I gave testimony at hers, the story was all over the _Prophet_. Oh, damn, that sounded cocky. I just meant that the press published my testimony. Anyway, if you don't know, maybe she should be the one to explain. If she won't, I'll tell you, but ask her first, okay?_

_I fixed my wand with the Elder Wand; most powerful wand ever created and all that, right? Apparently it can even repair wands. I really haven't decided what I'm going to do with it yet—the Elder Wand, I mean. It's a pretty big deal, and I don't want to be murdered just so that someone who fancies themselves as the next Dark Lord can get their hands on it. But why am I even telling you this? _

_The part of the Elder Wand's story that does concern you is this: When you disarmed Dumbledore that night in the tower, you officially became the master of the Elder Wand. It wouldn't fully obey Voldemort, even after he killed Snape, because it had never belonged to either of them. When I wrestled your wand away from you in Malfoy Manor, the Elder Wand changed its allegiance from you to me. That's why there at the end, when Voldemort tried to kill me, I was able to disarm him and claim the Elder Wand instead of kicking the bucket.  
>Ron and Hermione argued against me telling you all this, but honestly, it's not like it's a secret; and it <em>does_ involve you after all._

_With all your irritation and annoyance returned,  
>Always and Forever,<br>Harry Potter_

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><p><em>Dear Mrs. Malfoy,<em>

_Trust me, I understand your motives, and I cannot fault you for them. I admire your devotion and love for your family, and your honesty towards me as well. _

_No matter what your motives, you still saved my life. You could have told Voldemort the truth, that I was alive, after you had your answer from me, but you chose not to. You chose instead to lie to one of the most powerful wizards in history, and saved my life. That's what I'm thanking you for._

_I must admit, I'm a bit surprised by your compliments, but I appreciate them. Thank you for your blessings as well, and I'm sure Ginny would be grateful for them, too, and although she is a wonderful girl, she and I are not together. We were at one point, but recently I find that I'm not as interested as I once was. Maybe it's a phase.  
>Again, I find myself talking too much.<em>

_You have no cause to apologize for your son's behaviour—in fact, we are behaving more civilly towards each other these days than we ever have before. _

_Best,  
>Harry Potter<em>

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>This is Lexi, just dropping in to say the chapters will probably be a little shorter than we'd like, because writing long letters - at least at this stage of the relationship - would just be too much to ask.

And also, you should totally review this chapter! Because Cat is awesome, and she deserves ALL THE AWARDS!

Hi Cat ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **We do not own the pure awesomeness that is Narcissa Malfoy! Oh, right – or any of the other HP aspects.

**AN: **Just one thing: I _love_ writing this family.

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><p><em>Potter,<em>

_How dare you return my irritation? __**I **__directed it at __**you**__ – you don't get to just give it back!_

_Not a big deal. NOT A BIG DEAL? This is the wand that killed the Dark Lord! People would __kill__ for this wand! It should be in a museum, at the very least!_

_No, I don't know what happened between you and my mother; that is why I am asking you. Do you think I would bother asking pointless questions to a brainless Gryffindor? I have better things to do with my time._

_Now I really doubt this whole story. Just __ask__? Ask Narcissa Malfoy to explain something she has kept hidden, something she obviously doesn't want me to know. If you really __had__ met my mother you would understand why the task you give me is an impossible one. She is a __**Slytherin**__ and a __**Black**__, Potter; not only that, she is a damn good one. You cannot __make__ my mother do anything she does not wish to. You just can't._

_As for the publicity – I don't read the Prophet, or any Wizarding paper for that matter. I stopped reading it years ago, when it became clear the 'news' was unconcerned with the facts. I've always learnt what I needed to know through talk; which is where you come in._

_Oh, and cocky? I'm flattered Potter, but I shall have to decline your offer – I don't get involved with people who are more arrogant than me. And though I know how much you long to, if you come to my door begging, I promise you I will hex off something important. Do not test me._

_I am… _glad_ you were able to repair your wand, Potter. Though I may seem blasé about it – and if you mention this to anyone I will kill you, and deny it to my grave – I do understand the importance of that type of connection. Our wands are the only companions that make no demands of us, either for action or explanation. They're the windows to our soul; you can learn a lot from a person's wand. So I __do__ thank you for returning my first: it has seen parts of me that I think no other wand could understand. Maybe parts of you, too._

_If you __do__ destroy the Elder Wand, make sure to publicise it – otherwise some fool might kill you for the damn thing anyway. And if they do that, and find nothing more than your crummy old stick of holly, I can't imagine they'll be pleased – and they may come after __my__ beautiful blackwood as the next best thing! Take a good, long think about the consequences is what I'm trying to say._

_But why __are__ you telling me this Potter? I'm surprised you're not worried about giving me ideas – big, bad Slytherin that I am. You defeated my 'master', after all – who's to say I won't cut your throat in the night?_

_If Granger and Weasel were so against you telling me about the wands… then why did you? Of course it's no secret, but why would you argue with your friends just to appease __me__? I thought they were your 'family', and the rest of that sentimental nonsense you throw around – perhaps you should have been a Hufflepuff – I'm just… Well. You know what we are to each other._

_But 'kicking the bucket' – what a disgustingly crass and Muggle-ish term that is. Your roots are showing my dear._

_With __irreturnable__ irritation,  
><em>_Always and Forever,  
><em>_Draco Lucius Malfoy_

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><p><em>My dear Mister Potter,<em>

_I am humbled by your words. You are not just a powerful wizard, but a compassionate man. I do not doubt you shall lead Wizarding Britain into her greatest age to date – but you must remain strong. I advise you find something to fight for, something more than a cause. 'A better future' is all good and well, but without someone for whom that future awaits, you may find yourself compromising what this nation needs for the promise of easy political acceptance. I know you will deny it now – but trust me, Mister Potter. I understand the game._

_Oh my dear Harry, you must never feel as if you are talking too much. I may be a Slytherin – no doubt my son harps on enough for you to know what that means – but I give you my word as a Black: nothing you say to me will ever be used against you, or one you love. Truly, you must speak to me as freely as you wish._

_I am hesitant to suggest this, and I apologise if I am crossing a line, but… My husband's master took your mother away from you; if you are willing, I should like to offer my services as advisor in her stead. Please, come to me about anything._

_You say you have lost interest in Miss Weasley; does your interest perhaps lie elsewhere? You speak of phases – please, my dear, open up to me in any way you need. I'm sure Draco would despise me should he know I have mentioned this, but he has had plenty of identity crises of his own, so I do have some experience._

_I'm glad to hear you __believe__ my son is acting civilly – however, I fear our definitions may be somewhat different._

_One last thing: there are no phases when it comes to the heart._

_Sincerely,  
><em>_Narcissa_

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><p><em>Cat here: Ohmygoodness, first time I read this...Lexi is amazing, and this chapter is hilarious! I can't wait to write Harry's reply! <em>

_Please review, because LEXI IS AMAZING! _

_Much love._


	4. Chapter 4a

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter is not ours. We don't own it. Or him. Or...yeah.

Hi guys. So I hope you guys are okay with a REALLY fast update! I...had a muse or something. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy Harry's replies!

Much love from Cat!

P.S. How amazing was Lexi's last chapter? I'm gushing, because geez, it was just so freaking amazing! /hearts.

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><p><em>Malfoy,<em>

_Geez, I thought you were bad in the first letter! Seriously, you need to calm down.  
>Really? You're going to get huffy about <em>that_? I meant it as in all the irritation you feel for me I feel for you as well. Bloody hell, man, I feel like I'm trying to settle a child's argument. _

_If you really want your wand to sit and rot in a museum, then by all means, put it there. It's your wand, returned to you, so you can do whatever you want with it. I just thought you'd appreciate having it back. Honestly, when I sent it I was not expecting this to become a big deal. _

_I'm not telling you to _make_ your mother do anything! I'm just saying, if you start a conversation and ask her what happened during the battle because you care, and honestly want to know, it's entirely possible that she'll tell you. Trust me, I get that she's a Slytherin—she more than proved that she's incredibly clever and cunning that night during the Battle—but that doesn't mean you can't hold a conversation to ask what happened. I've already told you that if she won't tell you then I will, but I still think you should ask her first. She's your mother, don't you two talk?_

_I don't blame you for not reading the _Prophet_; it's a pile of thestral-shit most of the time. Somehow I expected that you would have read it, if just for the Potter-bashing they did for so many years._

_What the hell, Malfoy? If I wanted to offer myself to you I'm sure I'd come up with a better way of doing it than begging at your doorstep, or making stupid innuendos in a letter. In other words, you can take this to mean that I am profoundly not interested. As for arrogance, you must get involved with a lot of people, because I can't think of anyone more arrogant than you._

_Your mood shifts are more confusing than any girl's. But don't worry, I won't tell anyone that you actually have a bit of compassion under that prickly exterior you hide behind. Because that's what it is, isn't it? You act all tough and as though you're cruel and heartless, but you're not, are you. It's a defense-mechanism. Our wands are windows to our souls? That's not something anyone who's truly heartless could come up with. _

_You're entirely right, I'd hate to be killed just for someone to realize that the Elder Wand no longer exists. What do you think I should do with it? On one hand, I'd hate to destroy something so powerful, so historical, but on the other it's an incredibly dangerous magical object, and no one should have that kind of power. Ron and Hermione aren't very helpful. Hermione wants me to lock it up or destroy it, so that no one could ever wield it again. Ron thinks it shouldn't be destroyed, or hidden, but doesn't really know what I should do with it, either. Any helpful ideas?_

_I still don't know why I'm telling you any of this, or why I'm even writing to you in the first place, but I'm not really concerned about 'giving you ideas.' I don't think you would have ever seriously hurt me intentionally, and I don't think that you even want to see me hurt anymore. I mean, sure, we've never been friendly towards each other, but I don't think you're the kind of person who could actually intentionally hurt someone else. Which leads me to think of our 6__th__ year at Hogwarts. I want you to_ _know that if I had known what that spell would do I would never have used it. I am so incredibly sorry for that._

_Hermione and Ron _are_ my family. Or as close to a family as I have, anyway. That doesn't mean that I'll always do what they want, or that they'll always do what I want. I love them both as though they were my true family, and not just friends I made at school. If that makes me a Hufflepuff, then I'll take it—I knew that house had to have _some_ redeeming quality_.  
><em>But anyway, I told you because you had a right to know. You were part of the whole mess, even if you didn't know it. The moment Voldemort decided to use you to try to kill Dumbledore you became tangled up in all of this. I'm not sure I do know what we are to each other, anymore. You're not my school-rival or enemy anymore, I don't hate you. I don't know what you'd call us. Acquaintances, maybe? <em>

_Wow, sarcasm, okay. Is there a slang Wizarding term for dying? It's not something I would know. Wouldn't roots showing be a Muggle term, too? HAH! Caught you. _

_Much love sent your way, Oh Compassionate One,  
>Always and Forever,<br>Harry Potter_

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><p><em>Mrs. Malfoy,<em>

_I...Wow. I'm blown away by your letter. I honestly don't know what to say. Thank you so much. You are beyond kind. _

_I feel as though I should decline your offer, on the basis of the past between us, but I find that it is incredibly easy for me to open up to you. More so than I ever felt around Mrs. Weasley, as kind and warm-hearted as she is. Also, you, as a Black, are the closest thing I have left to my family in our world, as strange as that is. Maybe you don't feel the same, and I'm just reaching. I sincerely appreciate your offer, though._

_Thank you, as well, for keeping whatever I say in confidence. I know that often I just seem to let my thoughts get the better of me, and I say far more than I should, so I appreciate you keeping all this between us. I have nothing against Slytherins, actually. I know that everyone believes that I'm "Gryffindor's Golden Boy" and that the Slytherin house is my mortal enemy, but to be honest, I was supposed to be in Slytherin. The Sorting Hat wanted me there, but I argued with it, and convinced it to put me in Gryffindor. It would be extremely hypocritical of me to have an issue with the house that should have been mine._

_I'm not sure I'm completely comfortable explaining what exactly I mean, yet. I mentioned a phase, but I'm not really sure that's the right word. The years I spent in school didn't exactly allow for much introspection or self-discovery on my part, so now that things have calmed down a bit, I feel like I'm trying to discover who "Harry Potter" is, outside of the "Boy-Who-Lived" mould. I realize I didn't really explain very well, but I'm not sure I'm ready to completely come out and say what's going on in my mind. It's not something I'm one hundred percent sure about, and I don't think I'm ready for anyone to know yet.  
>As of right now, my interest lies in trying to understand what's going on with me. I feel awful that I don't have any feelings for Ginny—I think I broke her heart—but she deserves someone who's better suited to her anyway. <em>

_I'm sorry, I just got sidetracked—Draco Malfoy has had identity crises? I have never met someone who was more sure of himself, or completely proud of himself. I can't picture him ever having an identity crisis. _

_As for political power, I have no desire for it. I don't want the power I've been given, and I really don't know what to do with it. It's terrifying to know that if I express any small disagreement or lack of faith in the Minister, his whole career will come crumbling down around him. I have to constantly be wary of the things I say and do, and even who I look at during Ministry events. It's all quite beyond me, so any advice you might have on that front would be completely appreciated._

_On an entirely different note, I just wanted you to know, Mrs. Malfoy, that I'm sorry for everything your family went through during this war. I believe your husband made some bad choices, but I also believe that he had the best interests of his family at heart, and that he just got sucked in further than he wanted to go. Maybe I'm entirely off base, but I got the feeling that he didn't like not being in control. When I first met your husband, he was a proud and impressive, if sometimes cruel, man. After Voldemort returned, I saw Lucius diminish and he seemed to completely lose himself, especially after his stay in Azkaban. I don't think he had fully realized what he was signing up for when he joined Voldemort. As much as I dislike him for all he's done to me and my friends, I am sorry I couldn't keep him from Azkaban for you._

_You know, I'm still not entirely sure why your son hates me as much as he does. I guess that's something I should take up with him, not you, but again, I'm thinking 'out loud.' For us, this "civil" behaviour is a step in the right direction, even if it's not the way you expect him to behave towards people._

_Thank you, Mrs. Malfoy, for all of your words to me. _

_Sincerely,  
>Harry Potter<em>

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><p>Lexi here. All I can say is wow... Draco honestly doesn't know what his feelings are doing right about now (which means neither do I). As for Narcissa, nothing fazes that woman.<p>

Just letting you all know, Draco needs some time to digest all this. In fact, I think he may well need to let some of his emotions out... That's right, I have a Draco-reaction planned.

Cat and I have wondered about the logistics of this, and here's how it will work: anything revealing what is going on in a character's head without another character being privy to it must be posted in a seperate fic, so the other author won't be aware - this allows for the most authentic letter responses.

This means that sometime between now and posting the next chapter, PurePeace will be coming out with a companion piece - A Look Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy.  
>It'll be up by the time the next chapter is written, so don't feel you have to be on the lookout - you can just check it out then. Alternatively, you could be on the lookout! Because that's fun too.<p>

MUCH LOVE FROM US! And Harry, because he's just like that. But not Draco. No! _Not_ Draco. I don't _care_ if you love him, he's not interested! Back off, crazy stalker fans! *runs for the hills*


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Harry, Draco, Narcissa, Ginny, Blaise, Hannah, Hermione, Voldemort, Lucius…. Or anyone you may happen to recognise. Alas, we don't even own the concept of letter writing.

**AN: **Well, this took a ridiculous length of time, didn't it? School has been _crazy_. But it's here now, and all I can do is apologise for the wait. As promised, Draco's reaction piece is up – it's a little clumsy, but it's ok. So you can head on over to _A Look Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy_ before reading this if you like, but it's not necessary. That seems to be that – read on, and enjoy!

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><p><em>How dare you assume to know anything about my relationship with my mother? We've been through <em>_hell__ together, my own father put us there, and she has talked me out of some very dark places. So don't __ever__ assume that I don't care about her well-being, or any aspect of her life._

_She just… she has a habit of trying to protect me. And in the past, it's proved to be dangerous. I thought if I just asked __you__, I might actually hear the unedited truth for once in my life.  
>That being said, perhaps you're right. A lot has changed now that we're no longer under threat of death – not directly anyway. I should give her a chance. I'll go and talk to her.<em>

_- Well, I did as I said I would. I talked to my mother. She told me about what happened in the forest, when Voldemort's curse backfired. She says she lied to the Dark Lord, and incidentally saved your life. This is more than Mother has ever revealed before, but at the same time I can't help but be suspicious. Do I have the full story? Or did she do something even more foolishly noble than lie to a skilled Legilimens for a cause that wasn't her own?_

_Mother, of course, wanted to know why I was asking. I told her about your letter. She seemed impressed that you would refuse to involve yourself in our family's issues on principle. I don't think I've ever seen her quite so taken with someone who isn't related by blood. Congratulations, Potter, you have won yourself a dangerous ally._

_Now that discussion is over with, it occurs to me that my correspondence is not progressing as it should. Let me start this again._

_..._

_O Great and wonderful Harry Potter,_

_A child? Really? Who of the two of us is resorting to swearing to make their point, hmm? But I suppose I should trust to your expertise in dealing with children – didn't you room with hotheads like Weasley and Finnegan?_

_Upon serious deliberation, I have reached the conclusion that the achievements of my blackwood wand would best be honoured through continued use. I shall __not__ be placing it in any kind of museum, nor even in a glass case in the Malfoy gallery._

"_Clever and cunning" - why don't you just say evil? It's true, my mother could barely be classified as such, but… that is what Slytherins __are__, according to the world. And while you do seem to take delight in subverting the world's expectations, mine especially, I can conceive of no reason why you would think otherwise._

_What __were__ you expecting when you returned my wand? You say you don't want money, and you naively didn't expect our communication to devolve into a drama (honestly, Potter, will you never learn? __Everything__ between us is a drama.) – so what response, exactly, were you anticipating? Fawning gratitude? A breakdown of the barriers between us, an erasure of the past, and ultimately the beginning of a beautiful friendship? What?  
>I'm going to keep asking the question until you provide me with a response I can be satisfied with, so you might as well just explain yourself now.<em>

_Potter-bashing is all well and good, and I'm sure I missed many joyful moments by not reading the Prophet – but when the criticism is inaccurate, whatever is the point? Happiness based on lies is a lie in itself; especially when one knows they are being deceived._

_Most amusing Potter, but I do have __other__ criteria by which to restrict the dating pool. Class; fortune; dedication to protecting the Malfoy heir, and the family's future; and while I'm sure it shall surprise you, common decency. That is where Blaise's credentials fell short, much to his chagrin – the boy has been after me for years._

_However, he seems to have a new target in his sights, someone with whom to console his shattered hopes…  
>I hear you and the Weasley girl are no more - I'm sorry for that, you both seemed to be disgustingly in love. If you don't want her falling in with us disreputable Slytherins, I suggest you keep her away from my dashing friend. No woman can withstand his charms. In fact, nor can most men; you may wish to lock your door as well.<em>

_Insight does not equal __compassion__, Potter. And defence? That implies that I'm actually __bothered__ by what others think of me. Just remember: I never pretended to be heartless; to anyone who was looking, it would be plain that there are some things I care about; my family, for one. How do you think the Dark Lord had me playing to his will for so long?  
>No, it's you, and your Gryffindor friends, who choose to believe the worst of us. It's you who ostracise us, and prevent us from attempting to make a positive impact on the community. I'm sure you wouldn't understand, but it's actually rather difficult to be 'good' when all that the world has ever told you is that you're evil and need to die. Can you imagine what that does to an eleven year old child?<em>

_The way I remember it, you never seemed to have a problem with destroying 'powerful', 'historical' things before.  
>As a Malfoy, I must advise you <em>_not__ to destroy the 'incredibly dangerous magical object', as by rule of my birth, I am supposed to wish to wield that power. However, as Draco speaking to Harry, I'd say stick to what you're good at. Snap the damn thing._

_How can you – __you__ – believe I would never harm someone?  
>Unlike you, Potter, I knew the consequences of every spell I ever cast. Every bit of damage I ever did – to you; to Lovegood; to countless other witches and wizards, and defenceless muggles – was done knowingly, and with the intent to harm. I don't know that I can accept your apology; I've done nothing to earn it.<em>

_Oh I'm sure Hufflepuffs have some worthy quality besides loyalty… Aren't they reputed to be rather good detectives? I remember hearing something about 'finding'…_

_Isn't it strange how things have come about – I'm little more than indifferent to you myself. However, I'm not at all sure that 'acquaintances' applies here either – it implies we don't have a past. I prefer to think of us as mutually respectful former rivals. After all, the past defines all else in our world; why not this?_

_Actually, I amend that to __distant__ former rivals – you obviously do not know me as well as I thought, if you are surprised by my sarcasm.  
>As for 'roots showing' - obviously it is <em>_not__ a Muggle term, otherwise why would I be using it?  
>You <em>_did__ do Herbology, did you not Potter? You __were__ with me that night we had detention in the Forbidden Forest? Do you not recall the large amount of tree roots? Honestly, I am amazed that Gryffindor stupidity can still astound me. But when you __insist__ on stooping to those levels… well how can it be helped?_

"_Much love"? Oh but Potter, I thought you had no interest? Nevermind, your secret is safe with me._

_With __zero__ love – and surprisingly little annoyance, all things considered -  
>Always and forever,<br>Draco M._

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><p><em>Harry, dear, please – call me Narcissa. After everything you have done for my family, this level of formality seems a tad ridiculous.<em>

_Now, I understand I have something more to thank you for – restoring some amount of trust to my relationship with my son.  
>He came to question me this morning, and told me about your letter. Once again, I find myself impressed by your strict adherence to your morals – I know how difficult it can be to argue with one as pigheaded as my dear Draco. Thankfully, he gets that from his mother.<em>

_I appreciate your reluctance in accepting my offer – there is no shortage of bad blood between both us and our respective families. (I shall have to explain our history to you some day.)  
>As for the concept of 'reaching' – I would be more than happy to welcome you into the Malfoy family as my honorary son. However, you must be careful where you publicly allow your allegiance to lie.<em>

_It surprises me, Harry Potter, that I can still be surprised by you. You would have been a fine addition to Slytherin House.  
>I'm sure you don't wish to publicise more aspects of your life than necessary, but did you ever consider the good this story could do in breaking down the House barriers? I understand the young Miss Abbot has been doing some work in that area, perhaps you might speak to her. It is such a very <em>_Hufflepuff__ thing to do - but necessary, I feel. The functional division of our childhood has carried on to our adult lives, and with it, much of the childish resentment._

_I'm sure Miss Weasley will recover. She's young, after all, and beautiful. I'm sure she won't be alone for long._

_Introspection is a valuable way to spend time, but there is such a thing as overkill, dear. It seems to me that your heart knows what it wants, but your mind is struggling to come to terms with it. Trust yourself; don't put your life on hold while you figure everything out._

_I will not break my son's confidence, just as I will not break yours, but I must say this: you do not know him, yet. The mask Draco puts up to the world hides a very different person. He is not as strong, or proud, as you appear to believe. Indeed, are any of us?_

_The key to success in politics is to never tell the truth; or at least politics as it once was, for I hear Miss Granger is doing her best to change things.  
>Now, you seem like an overly truthful young man. According to the Sorting Hat, you are well able to speak tactfully, you simply choose not to. In this case, rather than disregard your morals, I recommend you play on your strengths: candour, clarity, virtue, and your natural position of political power.<br>Provided you choose to speak at the correct moments, I believe the direct nature of your speech may catch the other players unawares, and potentially expose more than a few plots and schemes. Perhaps if you manage to eliminate the fundamental 'dancing around' of the political game our society can begin to move forward.  
>You may be uncomfortable with the concept, but your morals will naturally shame other members of the Wizarding World, and together with your status as 'Saviour', should ensure many beneficial proposals will move forward.<br>If you're willing, we can discuss potential strategies over morning tea; it is best not to have these kinds of things in writing. I receive visitors between 9 and 12 each morning._

_Oh my dear, you must not be sorry for any perceived failure to protect my husband. Lucius chose his path, and in the end he got what he deserved. He may not have been aware of the Dark Lord's __true__ vision, but he knew it was nothing good. He was nothing more than a greedy man, blinded by ambition and the will to see his family thrive, whatever the cost. His downfall was his own._

_I have often perceived that there is little difference between hate and fascination, don't you agree? Something to think about._

_All my love, and best wishes,_

_Narcissa x_

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><p><strong>AN:** Hey guys, Cat here! So what did you guys think of Lexi's letters? Leave us a comment/review/whatever! We love feedback!

(Also, I hope the majority of you caught the AVPM reference! I actually laughed out loud when I first read that! Lexi is awesome!)

PLEASE REVIEW! Much love!


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! I hope you guys enjoy chapter 6!  
>Also, I think things are starting to actually pick up! The letters between Narcissa and Harry probably won't go on for much longer, since they'll be meeting in person, but Harry &amp; Draco are much more stubborn, so it could be a while for them!<p>

**Disclaimer: **They aren't ours. Sadly. If they were, we'd be much richer. And famous.

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><p><em>Malfoy,<em>

_Crap. I'm sorry, mate. Look, I didn't actually mean to imply that you didn't care about your mother. I know you two have a good relationship, and that you're close. Honestly, I just wanted her to decide whether you should know what happened, since it's more to do with her than with me._

_The curse didn't backfire, though. I suppose that's probably what it looked like, but that's not what happened. It hit me. I actually died in that clearing that night, and was dead for a few minutes. Voldemort was affected, too, which is why no one noticed that I had actually died at first, because his followers were dealing with him. By the time your mother made it to me, I was back. I don't really want to explain how it happened, it's kind of a long story. You know, I don't understand what it is about you that makes me talk. I haven't told anyone that I died. No one but you. _

_Your mother...there aren't really words to describe her. She's amazing. I know you know this already, I'm just telling you my thoughts. She's an incredible woman._

_Seamus and Ron aren't all bad! Sure, they've both got tempers, and they don't really keep quiet about whatever's on their minds, but they're good guys. Loyal as they come. Seamus keeps things entertaining. _

_I'm glad you have decided to keep your wand. Seems like the right thing to do, to me. _

_Why on earth would I think Slytherins are evil? You're putting words in my mouth. You're right, our world has a perverted view of Slytherins, and people don't go out of their way to realize that it's wrong, but what people think has no bearing on my own personal opinion. The wizards who went wrong from your house don't reflect the house in its entirety. Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and even Hufflepuff have to claim wizards who went bad as well, but the houses aren't seen as evil, so why should Slytherin? I used the words 'cunning' and 'clever' because that's what Slytherins are. Not evil._

_Honestly? When I returned your wand to you I didn't expect any reply. That was probably naive of me, given our history, but I actually didn't think you'd write back at all. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you did, but I wasn't expecting it. I certainly didn't expect "fawning gratitude." I hope I never see you "fawning" over anyone. You're better than that. _

_When did you get to be so wise? "Happiness based on lies is a lie in itself." Not the sort of thing I'd expect to come out of your mouth. Of course, the things I __expect__ to hear from you are completely different from the things I've been hearing the last few weeks._

_I take it back. I'm rather surprised you've dated __anyone__, given that list. Do you actually ask people whether they're interesting in protecting you when you're considering dating them? Blaise, though? Really? I never really got to know him in school, but I have to admit, Pansy always seemed much more interested in you. Can I ask you a personal question? Feel free to ignore it, or to sneer at me instead of responding, whichever you prefer. (That was a joke. Don't be offended. Actually, half of what I've said on this subject so far has been a joke. This next bit, though, isn't.). Do you prefer men or women? You haven't really specified, and I guess I was curious. Not that it matters, either way._

_Please don't be sorry that Ginny and I broke up. I ended it. Maybe Ginny and Blaise can mend each other's shattered hopes. Ginny is a wonderful girl, but I'm just not interested anymore. I'm not sure she actually is either, although she thinks she is. She was in love with me long before we ever even met, and I don't think that she ever really loved me with a 'romantic love.' Ending our strange relationship was probably better for her, too. I would hate for her to wake up one morning and find that all her illusions of what life with me would be like had been shattered, and I wasn't up to snuff, which is what would have happened eventually. I'm not the person people make me out to be.  
>This makes it sound like I'm upset. I'm not. Ginny's a dear friend, and I want her to be happy. She wouldn't be happy with me. I wouldn't be happy with her. <em>

_No, you're right. Insight doesn't equate to compassion. But you are compassionate underneath. You may not have ever pretended to be heartless, but you never wore your heart on your sleeve, either, like a lot of us. Instead, you hid it under a prickly layer that would stab anyone who came too close. You're right, though, it is us who never gave you a chance. It's our fault many of the Slytherins who were in school with us turned to Voldemort. It was our-society's- prejudices that affected you. I won't take the full blame for that, but I accept my part.  
>Did you know that you're part of the reason I even had my prejudices? (I'm not blaming you, what's done is done, don't be angry at me, or my eleven year-old self's reactions). I grew up with Muggles. I had never even heard of the Wizarding world until my letter came, the night of my eleventh birthday. Then suddenly I was thrust into a world I didn't understand, that was beautiful and magical and wonderful.<br>The first I learned of Hogwart's houses was from you, in Madame Malkin's, when we were both having our robes fitted. I'm sure you don't remember what was said, but you insulted Hagrid when you saw him outside. Hagrid was the very first person who had ever been nice to me. The only adult who hadn't abused me in some way. I was offended for him, so I disliked you. Hagrid told me about the man who killed my parents. The Wizard who had 'gone bad.' He told me that he was in Slytherin House.  
>Later on, I made friends with Ron. Ron was the first kid I'd ever been friends with. Every kid before had been too scared of my cousin to make friends with me. I'd never had a friend before, then came you, again, and you insulted Ron, too.<br>Next thing I know, you're being sorted into Slytherin.  
>I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty, or upset you, or to have you feel sorry for me, or whatever. I'm just trying to explain. And...I'm trying to apologize. If things had been different we might have even been friends, and there would have probably been less of a prejudice against your House. Heavens knows that these days whatever Harry Potter says or does is immediately right. There's something wrong with people. I always want to shout at them, or bash some heads together.<em>

_Sorry. Again. I said way too much in that last paragraph, feel free to ignore half of it._

_It has officially been snapped. Done. Thank you. _

_Let's say the war is still going on. You know I'm the only one who can kill Voldemort. You run across me somewhere, and no one's around. You could end this, right now. If you kill me, Voldemort wins. Could you do it?  
>I didn't mean you wouldn't harm anyone, I know you've hurt people. I know you've hurt Luna. I know you've hurt me. What I meant was that I didn't think you wanted to hurt anyone. Did you ever enjoy causing pain? Did you enjoy knowing that someone was screaming because of you?<br>You're not evil, Draco. _

_Finding? Really? I've only ever heard anything about Hufflepuffs being completely loyal and true, loving, maybe, but I've never heard anything about them being good finders. Of course, you're more knowledgeable about the Wizarding world, so maybe you're right. I have no idea. _

_Distant former rivals? You do realize that's slightly ridiculous, right? Do we actually need a label for whatever the heck our relationship is? I don't think there are actually words to describe it, anyway. _

_So much for understanding sarcasm. Yes, Draco, I'm completely interested in you. I just couldn't resist anymore, obviously that's why I mailed you your wand, I was hoping it would strike up a conversation.  
>Hah.<em>

_With only some annoyance at your continued stabs at Gryffindor, after going all that way to point out the prejudices against Houses,  
>Always and forever,<em>

_Harry_

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><p><em>Mrs. Ma-<em>

_Narcissa,_

_I'm glad Draco finally went to you. It __was__ getting a bit tiring, arguing with him about asking you. _

_I think you misunderstand. I have no qualms in accepting your offer—that's what makes me a bit nervous. I find that these days, especially since we have been writing, I see you as a mother-figure. I've been telling you all my problems and secrets and things I would never dare to tell anyone else, and I'm not bothered by that. I would love to be your honorary son. I would be incredibly honoured to be a part of your family.  
>As for the rest, I feel like it would be good to be seen with you in public. People would be shocked, at first, but as time went on, they'd come to accept it, and things might be easier for you and Draco, if people realize that I don't have a problem with you. Maybe this would work for other Slytherins as well. I'll have to talk to Hannah. If we could get to the point where former Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws were interacting with former Slytherins on a daily basis, eventually the rest of society would realize that Slytherins aren't evil, and their prejudices are wrong.<em>

_Both you and Draco both told me that Ginny won't be alone long. Do you two know something that I don't?_

_I do know what I want. I think. But I don't know that I want to admit to it. I'm already planning on setting our world on its ear by fixing House prejudices. I can't imagine the commotion if I declared this. I feel like I'm hiding part of who I am, but I'm terrified. I remember the way I was treated when people found out I was a Parselmouth, and they thought I was the heir of Slytherin. Maybe if I tell you, first, then it'll help.  
>I think—no, I know I'm gay. I prefer men to women. Oh god. It was hard to even write that. And I know that the only person who's going to see this letter is you. I'm actually shaking.<br>Hermione and Ron don't even know yet. I'm scared of what Ron's reaction will be. When we were in school our fourth year, he spent a good part of the year ignoring me because he thought I had put my name into the Cup, that I __wanted__ to be a Champion. What if he goes back to being unfriendly towards me? Somehow I'm putting Ron and the rest of the world together, too. I know that if Ron accepts it—accepts me, then I don't care what anyone else says. But if Ron can't accept me for who I am, then how could I expect anyone else to?  
>So much for Gryffindor bravery. I'm terrified.<br>I'm not strong or proud. I generally have no idea what I'm doing, and I'm accompanied by a great deal of luck._

_I will leave politics to be discussed in person...I honestly have no head for that._

_I am uncomfortable with the idea of showing up at the Manor on any given day, but if you could tell me when would be best for you, I'd be happy to have tea with you._

_Love,_

_Harry_

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Hey guys! It is I, Erin. Um. Lexi. Ooooh, things are happening! This is exciting XD

Props to Cat for a great chapter!


	7. Chapter 7a

**AN: **Sorry this took so long, everyone! I just finished my final exams of my final year of high school last week, so I've been a little busy. There are things you should be excited about: the first is I have a long holiday ahead of me, which means quicker updates; the second is that the same day I finished my exams I came out to EVERYONE as a lesbian, rather than just my friends and close family, and it's been accepted to my face, which is all I wanted really. And now you guys know :) Finally, you should be excited for these letters. Just sayin'.

**[EDIT] Quick note about the companion pieces: **We have decided to retitle the companion pieces, as "part b" to the chapter they go with. So, for example, the companion piece to THIS chapter (in "Harry's Emotional Turmoil") is titled Chapter 7b, and the companion piece to the next chapter (In the "A Look Inside the Mind of Draco Malfoy" one) is Chapter 8b. I know it's a bit late, since the first reaction is for chapter 4, but it's been too long for me to edit the chapter 4 author's note! (sad day.) HOPE THIS HELPS! much love! -Cat

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Harry Potter.

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><p><em>Potter –<em>

…_Thank you. You may have noticed I'm not skilled at graciously accepting apologies, but this time I mean it. I may even have overreacted a little – but my mother is basically all I have. I don't take well to people undermining that.  
>You say you wanted her to decide if I should know, yet before you promised to tell me provided I asked her first. Which is it, Potter? What would you have done if she decided I was best kept in the dark, hmm?<em>

_Harry Potter, Wizarding Savior, Boy Who Lived Twice – and now the Man Who Died?  
>To have actually physically died in order to end the war is worthy of such a wealth of gratitude that I cannot comprehend it, let alone deliver it. Yet still you tell me, your once enemy - the man who should mean less than nothing to you? I don't understand it either. But you're right, there is… <em>_something_. _I've been telling myself it's the Gryffindor in you, that that's why I've trusted you with my weaknesses. But I know the logic isn't sound. I never trusted Dumbledore, after all – the man who knew every secret of my godfather, a double agent. Perhaps it's because you opened up first. Has anyone ever told you that you trust too quickly? Or that you have a habit of throwing it at those who haven't earned it, who are unworthy?_

_Eugh, Mother. I do love her, of course; and I must admire her cunning, intelligence and strong force of will. However, just once I would like to be right, to win – and not only because she let me. Her standards are also rather high, and very strict. Compared to being the son of Narcissa Malfoy nee Black, being the progeny of Lucius is a walk in the park._

_Loyalty can be bought, Potter. But then I suppose that means it can be bought out... Perhaps your method __is__ the better option, though fear has proved to be rather effective in the past._

_Playing Snake's Advocate are you? I must say, I'm impressed. That was rather diplomatic of you, Potter – and very impassioned. Perhaps Mother will make a politician of you yet._

_No – I wanted you to lie to me. You really are foolish at times…  
>Yes, I suppose you could blame this correspondence on the long history of each of us needing to have the last word; I doubt we'll ever grow up.<br>Better than 'fawning'? Was that a compliment? Or do you simply seek to keep me from the path my father took, humbling himself to a madman?_

_You wound me, Potter. I have always been wise! It's just that more recently I have learnt to act on it. As that Muggle author said, "I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it." Confronting that feathered beast is perhaps one of the more memorable occasions where I should have listened to my own reason.  
>I am beginning to suspect we didn't know each other half so well as we thought. In fact, for two sworn enemies living in the same base, our constant surprise just shows how pathetic we were as rivals.<em>

_There are so many things wrong with those comments. First of all – purebloods don't date, we __court__. Or we tumble around in the sheets. It really depends. Secondly, I will have you know that I'm quite a catch! Thirdly, of course I don't __ask__. You never __ask__ – it's not an interview! You __observe__. You judge._

_Eugh. Pansy was also interested in me, yes, though I'm not sure about 'more so'. But she was a) repugnant, and b) indiscrete, and as such, I figured she wasn't even worth a mention. Blaise's interest was…. Well, almost completely a joke. I hope. You can never really tell with him. He's a bit of a man-whore. Don't get me wrong, he's charming! He just likes to hit on anything that moves. (Barring Pansy of course.) (And perhaps Weasley. Or at least, I am hoping not Weasley.)_

_It was rather presumptive of you to jump right into the personal question without waiting for a response. However, don't worry your indiscrete Gryffindor self! I am not offended. Nor am I going to sneer at you. I never sneer. Do I sneer? __I__ don't think I sneer. Dammit Potter, I'm all self-conscious now. But to your question. Well first of all, this is rather unusual. Most people don't need to 'specify' their sexual orientation, as heterosexual is somewhat the norm. But as it happens, I do actually prefer men. Well not so much 'prefer' – they're not a preference, they are a requirement. Though I suppose marriage-wise, it can only be a preference.  
>But if it 'doesn't matter', then why do you ask? Is there perhaps something you'd like to tell me? Something else you'd like to ask? I don't fancy you, if that's what you're thinking. Though you do fit several of my criteria… Unfortunately, Sufficient Meshing of Personalities to Make it Through At Least One Year of Marriage Alive is not one of them. Sorry about that.<em>

_That is all very mature of you, Potter. Now before you get your knickers in a twist, I'm not suggesting I expected otherwise. It just has me contemplating how very grown up we all are now. I still remember that childish little Valentine the Weasley girl sent you Second Year, now you're talking eventualities and 'for the best'._

_In all honesty, do __you__ even know who you are? The person you make __yourself__ out to be– is he really you? You talk a lot about people not understanding you, but can you blame them? I mean, you seem very unsure of yourself at times. Which is ok; after all, your entire purpose and much of your life has just collapsed around you. If you weren't a little unsure you'd be either a God or a machine, neither of which I would care for. I just wonder if you're coping with all of this._

_You say I tried to push people away – 'stab anyone who came too close'. I'm sure you never realised this, because why would you pay any attention to my life, but no one __tried__ to come close. I absolutely __hate__ to get all self-pitying, but quite frankly, the life of a Malfoy heir is a lonely one; especially during our time. My father would be ashamed to hear it, but it seems there are some who are able to break down my barriers far more quickly than he would deem acceptable, or society possible._

_You're wrong; I do remember that day. I remember parroting some trash I'd heard from my father, a man whose word, then, was the law. You say those actions were part of the cause of your prejudices, yet they were based on the words of others, just as your beliefs were.  
>I also remember meeting Hagrid at Hogwarts that first year, seeing his obvious love for the Boy-Who-Lived, and the way in which no other student could measure up to him, except for Granger and Weasley. I remember the giant's instinctive mistrust of all things Slytherin. Tell me Potter, at what point should I have begun to like him? Neither of us were ever given much incentive to abandon our beliefs. Things couldn't have been different.<em>

_As for your strange conviction that all would have been dandy had we been friends – well that's just plain ridiculous. Sure, __these days__ whatever you say goes, but have you so quickly forgotten our time at Hogwarts? Second Year you were Heir of Slytherin, Fourth Year you 'stunk', Fifth you were 'lying' about Voldemort's return… You were never really all that popular, Potter. Not really. You were just a celebrity._

_However, dwelling on 'what if's and 'maybe's will not bring back a single one of our dead; it's more likely to ruin lives by throwing around blame. I __know__ that's not what you intend to do, but there's little difference between finding a cause and bestowing blame. The Wizarding World needs to move ahead, not look to the past._

_Merlin, you're a worry, Potter. __You__ want to 'bash some heads together' but there's something wrong with __people__? I do agree with you, though. It should be obvious to anyone with half a brain that you have no clue what you're doing even at the best of times, yet still the cameras follow you around like crup puppies, eating up the stories. You must be careful where you shop – you could make or break a business. But hey, no pressure._

_It has… __what?__ You snapped it; on the advice of a Slytherin who is either out to destroy you, or of no importance to you, depending on whom you speak to. You are something else. Just – try to remember you have a will of your own. I don't want anyone coming around here demanding to know why I had the most powerful wand in existence destroyed. I'm not your personal conscience.  
>(Also – officially? How is it possible to <em>_un__officially snap a wand?)_

_Of course I couldn't do it. You're Harry freaking Potter. I could never beat you in a duel; the idea is laughable. However, assuming that you believe me capable of more underhand means, and perhaps in this scenario I can take you from behind… Oh Merlin. I didn't mean it like __that__, Potter, get your mind out of the gutter.  
><em>_Anyway__… how has such a serious conversation turned into this? I just don't understand. The point is, though…. That you're right. I wouldn't kill you. At least not so Voldemort could win. If you were a threat to my family, I would kill you without a second thought, even with the fate of the nation depending on your survival – but I wouldn't kill you for the sake of it. Just as I wouldn't hurt another for any sick pleasure.  
>Aside from the Big Man himself, though, is anyone really evil? I mean, we all have <em>_reasons__, though sometimes people are more driven by desires. Reasons are not excuses, but they do eliminate the 'mindless evil' element._

_Just trust me on this one, Potter. Hufflepuff=find. Never mention it in front of one though, or they'll never shut up about it._

_Labels are neat. Labels assist communication. Labels, like words, carry meaning. Without words, where would we be? I __like__ labels. With labels, everything makes sense. But perhaps you're right – our 'relationship' is a little more difficult to describe. (If anyone asks I'm sticking with 'distant former rivals', though.)_

_Woah, boy. Hold yourself back. You may be completely interested in me, but the feeling is __not__ mutual.  
>I am perfectly able to understand sarcasm. In fact, I was using it.<em>

_Oh and I hardly believe perceived evil equates to perceived stupidity, Potter. Our prejudices are very different._

_Wondering how long 'always and forever' lasts,  
>Always and forever,<em>

_Draco_

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><p><em>Darling,<em>

_I am so proud of you for having the courage to tell me this. Not because it's something that is wrong, but because I can see how frightened you are. You must be horribly on edge waiting for my response, as there is such potential for both healing and hurt here. Well rest assured, my dear, I love you all the same. I am aware that in many ways, the Wizarding World is more backward than the Muggle. However, the issue of homosexuality is not one of them. It's far more widespread than Parselmouth, and as such, more understood. I wouldn't worry about Mr Weasley; Molly Prewett's brothers were both gay, and though they were killed before his time, I'm sure their nephew would be aware. Then, of course, there's Dumbledore, Pomona Sprout, Kingsley Shacklebolt… You have nothing to fear. I am certain that if you felt comfortable making your sexuality common knowledge, you would simply become the focus of 'Men of Magic' rather than 'Witch Weekly'._

_Do we know something you don't? I don't believe so – she is simply a beautiful, strong young woman. She is also a pureblood, and closely associated with the winning side; there are those who will try to take advantage of these circumstances._

_If you are uncomfortable visiting here, then of course, you mustn't. As you seem so sure about being seen together, might I suggest Alderley Tea Rooms? They're just off Diagon Alley, public enough to give the impression that we have nothing to hide, and discrete enough for us to discuss anything you should desire. We shall meet there tomorrow at ten._

_I am proud of you, dear._

_With all a mother's love,_

_Narcissa_

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>I know it's usually Cat's turn to write something at the end, but I needed to tell you a few things.

First of all, Draco's quote from the Muggle author is from _Alice in Wonderland _by Lewis Carroll.

Secondly, I wanted to tell you how I came up with Alderley Tea Rooms. I couldn't come up with any clever plays on words, or interesting names or anything, so I googled 'wizard tea rooms'. Just in case. It turns out there is actually a café named Wizard Tea Rooms in England, at a place named Alderley Edge! Ta-da!

Thirdly – writing Draco's letter has been torture. He is _so irritating_ sometimes. I wanted to let you all know what _almost _got into the letter. So, Harry asked Draco if he preferred men or women. Draco's response? "As it happens, I prefer my partners a little cockier than is considered usual." NOT OK. I had to give him a stern speaking-to. I just thought you guys might be interested :)

Finally: I have this headcanon of Harry never telling anyone about him actually dying, and Draco writing his autobiography after he really dies at some suitably old age, and finally revealing what Harry went through. He could never do it while Harry was alive, because he knew how he hated the attention, but he thought it was right that the people know what he did for them.

- Lexi out xx

**Second AN!** Aren't you guys lucky?  
>WOW. I'm blown away. Lexi is amazing. Look for a reaction piece on our page soon, Harry's got to figure out what his emotions are doing!<p>

We'd love some reviews, and a special thank you to those of you who have been reviewing. We love you, and all our readers!

-Cat


	8. Chapter 8a

Oh hi, guys! Cat here.

I just can't seem to resist the pull of this fic...  
>I SHOULD be writing term papers. Appreciate this. :P<p>

So, Lexi, by the way, is a genius. Harry had to stop and figure out his emotions before he could reply to the letter. If you haven't seen the companion fic where that happens (check our page), you should check that one out, too. :)

**[EDIT] Quick note about the companion pieces: **We have decided to retitle the companion pieces, as "part b" to the chapter they go with. So, for example, the companion piece to THIS chapter that Lexi just wrote is titled Chapter 8b, and the companion piece to the last chappy Lexi wrote, that _I _wrote (In the "Harry's Emotional Turmoil" piece) is Chapter 7b. I know it's a bit late, since the first reaction is for chapter 4, but it's been too long for me to edit the chapter 4 author's note! (sad day.) HOPE THIS HELPS! much love! -Cat

ENJOY!

**Disclaimer: **again...they're not ours. I'd actually be able to afford uni if they were.

**[TW] Trigger Warning **for offensive gay slurs

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><p><em>Malfoy,<em>

_You're right, it did sound contradicting the way I said things, but I meant both. I wanted Narcissa to be the one to tell you what happened, because it involves mainly her, and you indirectly, but if she had decided not to tell you, I would have. I wouldn't have gone back on my word. Other than her own modesty I don't see any reason for you not to know._

_I don't want your gratitude. I didn't tell you to make you feel like I'm some big hero, I get more than enough of that from the rest of the world. You're the only one who makes me feel semi-normal. Maybe that's why I tell you so much. I feel like I'm a person to you. That there's nothing that makes me more special than anyone else. Maybe subconsciously I know that when I tell you things you're not going to use the information to build up a pedestal for me, you're just going to accept it. Or tell me I'm an idiot. I can't blame you for not trusting Dumbledore. As much as I loved the man he definitely kept his own council, and managed to manipulate the people around him into doing what he wanted. I definitely don't trust quickly. Hermione actually wishes I'd trust people more quickly. There's just something about you..._

_A loyalty that starts in friendship is much more likely to last than one that is founded in money or some sort of reward. There's more of a bond between you when you've grown up trusting someone, than if you just make someone an offer. There's always the possibility that someone will make a better offer._

_Malfoy...I didn't mean to imply anything when I was talking about "fawning." I honestly never thought of that connection, and I would never imply anything like that, I know you are not your father. I actually truly meant what I said. I think it would make me physically ill to see you sucking up to someone—fawning over them. I __do__ think you're better than that. It was really only an offhand comment, with no motive behind it._

_Lewis Carroll? I'm a bit excited that you've read Alice and Wonderland. It's a personal favourite. You know, though, in the end the stunt you pulled with Buckbeak worked out for everyone, so no harm. You weren't even all that badly injured, from what I remember, but you certainly milked it for all it was worth._

_Oh, well excuse me, Mr. Snob, how dare I use the word 'date!' I'll remember to use the word 'court' when talking to you, now, so I don't offend your delicate pureblood sensibilities. Although tumbling around in the sheets seems to negate the offensive 'date' term...  
>I'm sure you are quite a catch—for anyone who wants a complete prat. I still can't believe that a requirement is your protection. <em>

_As astonished (and a bit proud) as I am that you used the term 'manwhore,' it was probably unnecessary. I'd kind of figured that one out. It definitely cheered me up a bit, though, to see the same person who was prattling on against the word 'date' in the last paragraph use a word like 'manwhore.' Suddenly I have absolutely no concern for your delicate pureblood sensibilities. I will continue to use the term 'date' now. _

_You definitely sneer. But don't worry yourself too much, it's a good sneer. Quite intimidating. Unless you're me, of course. I think I'm probably immune to it by this point in our relationship. _

_I asked because I'm...well, you know what you said about me not knowing who I am? You're dead on. And that scares me, to be honest. How the hell did you just...nevermind. Not important. Anyway. I've never really had the chance to do the whole "self-discovery" thing. While most people spent their school years learning who they are, I spent mine being manipulated through trials and tests to shape me into the soldier the Light needed in order to defeat Voldemort. Now that it's all over I'm just trying desperately to learn about...me. Anyway, the point was that I realized recently that I'd dated Cho and Ginny because I felt like that was expected of me. I was supposed to be into girls and be experimenting or whatever, but it was always...wrong. As I'm sure you'll learn if you happen to pick up a copy of tomorrow's Prophet (I hate that everyone in the world has to know my business, by the way), the reason I broke up with Ginny was because I...also prefer men.  
>Hermione and Ron just found out yesterday. Ron's not speaking to me at the moment, but I think that he's angry because I didn't tell him sooner and not because of my actual preferences. Ginny's a whole lot more friendly towards me now, too. I guess it makes our break up easier now that she knows I won't be dating other girls? I have no idea, I don't understand it.<br>But yeah, that's why I asked. I've been struggling with my own sexuality, and just wanted to know.  
>And I suppose I'll survive, knowing that you'd never consider 'courting' me...can you imagine that relationship? It would almost be entertaining to watch it crash and burn.<em>

_To be honest, I always believed no one tried to get close to you because of the image you projected. You never looked as though you wanted anyone close, and having your wingmen always a step behind you kind of contributed to that image. And I always thought you wanted it that way. There are some who can break down your barriers more quickly than acceptable? What does that mean?_

_You're right. My beliefs were based on the words of someone else. I was prejudiced, almost from the moment I entered the Wizarding world, against Slytherin. The reason I say people would be more accepting of Slytherin __now__, is because the Sorting Hat wanted to put me in Slytherin. It told me I'd do well there. But because of my prejudices, I argued with the Hat. Had I been a Slytherin, and then defeated Voldemort, Slytherin could have been redeemed in the eyes of the public. That's what I was apologizing for. Believe me, I'm well aware of how unpopular I was during school.  
>And you're right about Hagrid. He was my first friend, and I think he felt a bit honoured, actually, that I wanted him as a friend...he was already an outcast at the school, and in our world as a whole, based on his lineage. Something he himself had no control over. I'm not objective enough to judge how that made him treat the rest of my classmates, though, so I'll take your word for it. Although, had he been friendly (which I've always thought he was?), would you have been willing to be friends with a half-giant? We've all got our prejudices to overcome, I'm afraid.<em>

_Don't worry! I had been thinking about snapping the wand for a while before you suggested it. I just wanted an outside opinion. No one will be knocking down your door to blame you for it. I've taken complete responsibility._

_Okay. Seriously? I'm not that great. I've never been overly clever. I'm nowhere near as smart as Hermione or you. If I came across you somewhere during the war and we were on opposite sides I'd probably be concerned for myself. I have no doubt that you could beat me in a duel. Easily.  
>Where is <em>_your__ mind, Malfoy? All the talk of tumbling around in the sheets has gotten into your head, I think!_

_I don't even think Voldemort was completely evil. I saw memories of his childhood and school days, and to be honest, he wasn't so different from me. He grew up without parents, without anyone who loved him, anyone who cared. He learned he was special and came to Hogwarts, where people actually liked him, and treated him differently. I could have turned out exactly like him. I don't think he was evil. I think somewhere along the line he lost track of himself._

_Duly noted. Never ask a Hufflepuff about finding. Maybe I should have made friends with a Hufflepuff in school..._

_Distant former rivals is absolutely ridiculous. For one, we're hardly distant anymore. You know more about me than anyone. Which is, actually, incredibly scary. The 'former rivals' part is true, but not distant. I actually enjoy talking with you, now. So if you want to label whatever it is we have, you're going to need a different name._

_Prejudices are prejudices, regardless._

_Expecting that 'always and forever' really does mean 'always and forever,' just not entirely sure what it is we're promising that'll last that long,  
>Always and forever,<em>

_Harry.  
>(PS. You're welcome to use my first name, you know? Just if you want.)<em>

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><p><em>Narcissa,<em>

_Thank you. Thank you so much for your love and support. I'm still a bit blown away that you're able to treat me with such compassion, after all that's happened over the last few years, so please know that I appreciate you more than you can know._

_Alderly Tea Rooms sounds wonderful. I'll see you in a few hours. _

_Love,_

_Harry_

_PS. What did you think of this morning's edition of the Prophet? I guess they go for the dramatic..._

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><p><em><strong>The Daily Prophet<br>July 13, 1998**_

**HARRY POTTER, HARRY POOFTER?**

That's right, folks. You're not seeing things! Just last night, Potter surprised the editor here at the _Prophet_ with an announcement that will break the hearts of ladies everywhere. Just as things begin to settle down, Potter stirs things back up by making the announcement that he is, in fact, gay. Harry Potter, who almost single-handedly defeated the darkest wizard of our time, is well known, and well liked by the public. Will this announcement affect people's views? Check back with the _Prophet_ Friday for an exclusive interview with the Saviour himself.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>Oh. My. Wizard. God. Nevermind Draco's feelings, what are _mine _doing? That was a highly charged letter in so many ways... A reaction piece is definitely pending, especially in regards to that final twist.

I never ask for reviews, but guys - surely you _must _be feeling the need to tell Cat how simultaneously wonderful and horrible she is!

Thanks for all your support so far, all our love

- Lexi


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: **Hey guys! Sorry this took SO DAMN LONG. Cat and I have been pretty busy at alternating times, and we WERE planning on putting together a tea scene between Narcissa and Harry... in the end though, we decided it just wasn't enough of a plot point for us to bother. So here, very belatedly, is Draco's letter! To anyone reading this: thanks for sticking it out :) hopefully we'll update more quickly in future  
>- Lexi<p>

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><p><em><strong>A short column on the front page, outlined in bold to grab the reader's attention<strong>_

_**The Daily Prophet  
>July 14, 1998<strong>_

**Our apologies to Mr Harry James Potter, and Other Concerned Readers**

Several concerned citizens yesterday expressed their disappointment with our reporting techniques regarding the sudden news of the Saviour's sexuality. In particular, they were disgusted by our use of an unfortunate slur in the article's title. In response, this paper would like to extend its sincerest apologies to all readers who may have been offended, and especially to Mr Harry Potter, at whom the slur was directed. We hope that this apology will be accepted, and our mutually satisfactory relationship with our readers can be resumed.

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><p><em>Harry—<em>

_I'd tell you the name thing works both ways, but then I see you've already taken the liberty. All the same… call me Draco._

_(For the sake of your sanity, I'm going to mix the order up a bit, and hope I don't confuse you too dreadfully.)  
>So Harry Potter is gay. I can't say I saw that coming, but then you always do manage to surprise me. I hope, for your sake, that Weasley comes round. If he doesn't… Well, I'd say he's just not worth it, but we both know that's not quite true, don't we? He's your friend. Look, loathe as I am to offer, should you ever want to talk… I do understand some of what you're going through. Of course I'm not prepared to share my life story, but it can't hurt to ask, at least. The worst I could do is say no. Or maybe hex you. (Yes, that was a joke – I do not have a death wish. Even if you're right, and you <em>_couldn't__ kick my arse, you do have the combined might of the Weasley's to draw upon. And Granger.)_

_Now that that unpleasantness is over with, back to business._

_I bet at school you never thought you'd __want__ me to call you an idiot! You're wrong, though; I do see you as a hero. You're Potter – your nobility and stupidity has always set you apart, even at school, before you were conquering Dark Lords. Remember the flying lesson, and Longbottom? I'm just used to it; you upstaged me so often that I've ceased to be impressed. Anyway, people with pedestals are horribly troublesome, and if I can keep such any wizard from becoming so, then I'm proud to do my bit. For Queen and country, as I believe the Muggles used to say._

_Dumbledore was a force to be reckoned with. He was powerful, of course, but I believe it was his strange set of morals that made him so dangerous. They were… flexible, at the best of times.  
>I think he truly cared for you, though. For all his faults, Dumbledore was a smart man – he knew you're more than a conveniently powerful pawn. Maybe he didn't want to, maybe it was inconvenient, but I'm sure he loved you. You have a way of getting to people. <em>

_Tell Granger she should know better than to trust easily. She's thinking of getting into the political scene, isn't she? She'll have to be on her guard. Whereas someone like you… As distasteful as it is, you'll __always__ have to be a little careful, a little sceptical, no matter what you decide to do with your life. That's just the way the world works. Unless you decide to 'become' a Muggle, I suppose. Would you ever consider that? I confess I see a certain appeal in 'wiping the slate clean', though I don't know much about the contemporary world. If you could find a way to send me back to the eighteenth century, however… No, I couldn't go. Mother would never leave our world. She has too much pride._

_Where does our relationship fit in with your philosophy of loyalty, I wonder? Because I do feel some degree of loyalty towards you, yet we certainly didn't grow up trusting one another, by any stretch of the imagination. Perhaps we trust __now__ (against all reason and logic), but our situation is certainly not as clear-cut as that of Weasley or Finnigan. I have my own conclusions, of course, involving reflected parallels leading to unique understandings, not to mention the over-developing intimacy caused by confronting honesty… But I was wondering what you thought._

_I'll never understand you, Harry. By all sane reasoning I should be 'Death Eater scum', yet you say that if I were to 'fawn', you would be physically ill. You seem to think I'm deserving of dignity, yet you consider yourself normal!  
>Your 'fawning' comment was offhand, you say – so was mine about my father. In case you hadn't noticed, Harry, I rather like to make you squirm. Don't concern yourself. All the same, I'm glad to hear you say I'm not my father. I may be finally able to believe it, but the majority of our world doesn't. It's reassuring to hear it from someone besides my mother – she's rather obliged to say so. Not that this has ever prompted her to lie in the past… Still, there's always a first time, right?<em>

_Yes, I believe it was Lewis Carroll. His novels were actually quite popular for wizarding children – they contained insanity that could not be explained away by magic. I never could stand the pointlessness of them, however. Still, an apt quote is apt, no matter who spoke it._

_My 'stunt' (excuse you!) worked out for everyone? I know that beast disappeared the same night as Sirius Black, but dear Merlin, Harry, don't tell me you were involved.  
>Anyway, your accusations wound me! I did not 'milk' anything. You're merely jealous of the attention I received from such a fair maiden as Pansy, and nothing you can say will convince me otherwise. I still have her address, Harry, if you'd like me to put in a good word for you?<em>

'_Negate' is rather a large word for you to be using, isn't it, Potter? However, despite such lofty ambitions, I will accept your poorly worded apology; the offense to my delicate pureblood sensibilities is forgiven. (Merlin, Harry, where do we get this tripe?) Oh, and many thanks for declaring me 'a complete prat' – that is a compliment of the highest order for us purebloods. You are a complete prat also. Now excuse me while I go and sob into my pillow, for my dearest Harry doesn't think that I'm a catch…_

_The protection requirement, or criterion, or whatever you wish to call it, is really very simple to understand. Without the Malfoy heir, there can be no Malfoy line. Family is __everything__; survival is the be all end all of our existence. In a world that's bristling with enemies, sometimes protection is necessary, and when it comes down to it you need to be able to trust those closest to you._

_Harry. Be honest now. Was there __ever__ a point in our relationship where you were __not__ immune to my 'good sneer'? (Can a sneer even __be__ good? Is it not, by its very nature… bad?)_

_Your relationships with Cho Chang and the Weasley girl don't seem like much in the way of experiments, not when you'd already jumped to conclusions in spite of the results. You may want to be discreet, now that you're the Saviour, but have you considered 'experimenting' again? I don't know why I'm asking that, of course you have, you're a young man with the whole world at your feet… I hope things work out for you; Merlin knows you've earned it. But… be careful, alright?_

_Funny you should mention the Daily Prophet. As you know, I make a habit of avoiding the paper, but Mother brought it to me for my perusal - there was a certain article she thought might be of interest to me. I assume you saw the follow-up today? 'Mutually satisfactory' my arse; arrogant tossers… Still, I'm glad somebody called them out on those so-called 'reporting techniques' – it was disgusting. Even I expected better of them._

_Only 'almost entertaining'? Harry, our relationship would be the stuff of legend! The inevitable heartbreak would only add to the drama of forbidden romance; our love would be immortalised in novels, and on the stage… It would never die!  
>Looking at it that way, it's almost a pity that it will never be.<em>

_I suppose I did cultivate an image of aloofness, of a hard exterior… I had little other choice, but all the same, I can't blame others for my actions. I'm sorry; I overreacted.  
>As for those who 'break down my barriers' – I just meant that for all my Untouchable Malfoy Bravado, it's quite easy for some people to reach me should they choose to try. Lovegood, for example; the speed with which she got under my skin was… unsettling. And it's unacceptable because it's not supposed to be <em>_possible__ – my 'image' is supposed to be fact. I should be cold as ice._

_You really do have a hero complex, don't you? Even the Saviour can't fix everything, Harry. You shouldn't apologise for choosing Gryffindor; you've done well there. Besides, the world might have seen it as you defeating Voldemort to take power yourself; you are a very powerful wizard, after all. I'm not childishly trying to defend my right to be miserable as a Slytherin, I'm just saying the people of the wizarding world are easily manipulated, and I have no doubt that the ministry could have convinced them of this – and would have, when you chose not to play ball._

_You defeated the most powerful wizard to have walked the earth in living memory, but if you met me in the woods you'd 'be concerned'? Harry, I'll admit that flattery will get you most places in life, but you shouldn't ever dumb yourself down. It's not a good look. Just think of Pansy!  
>On a more serious note – you said, 'If we were on opposite sides'. Do you really consider me as having been on your side? I'm… not sure how to feel about that. If that's meant to make me feel better, it doesn't – it seems even more ignoble to betray Potter's Army than the Death Eaters. At least with the latter you can claim some kind of moral cause. Anyway, you underestimate yourself - greatly. Which is good, on the one hand – it means you won't take yourself too seriously and become a threat to us all. That's nice. But on the other hand, any doubt could one day cost you your life. Don't ever hesitate, Harry.<em>

_You don't think Voldemort was evil? I can't tell if you're naïve, stupid, or just __really__ optimistic. Either way, you see the world through very skewed vision. One does not simply 'lose track of himself' and become a psychopath! There was something seriously wrong with Voldemort. And maybe you share a similar history, but you two are as different as chalk and cheese. What made him cruel gave you empathy, and that sort of thing doesn't happen by chance._

_There's still time to recruit a 'Puff to your mad gang. Try Hannah Abbott, or perhaps Justin Finch-Fletchley._

_If you're going to get shirty about 'distant former rivals' not sticking, you have no one to blame but yourself! We were suitably awkward and impolite, and then you had to go and ask personal questions, and tell me about yourself, and sometimes even be reasonable… And now we're friendly former rivals, Harry, and it's all your fault._

_Promising acceptance,  
>Always and forever,<em>

_Draco_

_(PS: Acceptance provided you're not being an idiot.)_

_(PPS: In other words, promising acceptance very occasionally.)_

_(PPPS: Also promising to be a prat! For always and ever, x)_

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><p><em><em>**A/N:** Hi, guys! Cat here! Thanks so much for sticking with us for such a long wait. I'm already working on chapter 10, so we're hoping it won't take as long to get it up, but it's also the middle of my term paper season, so no promises!

Much much love for sticking with us! Thanks again! We'd love to know what you think.

-Cat


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: **Well hello, again. I bet you didn't expect another chapter so quickly! I actually had the interview already written, since I first posted the little 'teaser' in chapter 8, so after Lexi posted her chapter, I just couldn't resist writing Harry's reply!

Also, I felt like since you had such a long wait for the last chapter, a super fast update would be nice! Don't expect it all the time, though! ;)

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and it's characters aren't ours. As much as we wish we could take credit for them...**

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><p><em>Draco, <em>

_I guess I __have__ already taken the liberty of using your first name. It just...feels more personal than "Malfoy", so there were a couple instances where it felt more pertinent. I'm sorry for not asking whether it was alright or not. _

_I will do my utmost not to be confused by the disorder of our...order...(um?)  
>Your reaction to my confession was relatively tame compared to the ones I've gotten so far. Of course, you're not actually with me, so I suppose physical violence or yelling aren't really options for you. I appreciate your concerns about Ron, though. I'm sure you're right—after all, he always does come around eventually...<br>I appreciate your offer to talk, too, but I think talking about this, especially to you, is outside my comfort zone at the moment, surprisingly enough, considering the things I __do__ talk to you about..._

_I can't say that I'd have __wanted__ you to call me an idiot in school, but you have to admit, there was something very stimulating about our tiffs. Some days I think I even enjoyed sparring with you, even if you did absolutely piss me off. I'm just glad you're as unimpressed by me now as you were when we were at school!_

_Perhaps you're right that Dumbledore cared for me—I'd certainly like to think you are. I'm sure he did care, in some ways. Actually, no, I know he did care about me. I just would love to know how much he considered me a pawn in his game, too._

_Thank you for your concern about Hermione. That's the second time you've willingly and freely offered up advice for her, even just via me, and I know you don't have to worry about her. I appreciate it.  
>Me, well, I'm not the best with people in general, so it just takes me longer to believe they don't intend to hurt me, or the people I care about. You and your mother seem to be the exception to this "trust rule," though.<br>Would I consider 'becoming' a Muggle? No. I was one, for all intents and purposes, once. This world, as crazy as it is, took me away from a worse life. My family is here, all my friends, everyone I care about. I couldn't turn my back on that. _

_Pertaining to the loyalty in our relationship—it's definitely different. We don't have a history of friendship that the loyalty we feel is based on, nor have we bribed each other (as if that would ever work on either of us...). I do believe that we have a mutual respect for each other, though, and we seem to have a history of saving each other's lives, recently. I think the loyalty I feel for you is based on a shared history, shared experiences, as well as this new relationship we're building. You've been one of the constants in my life since we were 11. That's gotta inspire __some__ loyalty, right?_

_About the 'fawning'...you __do__ deserve dignity. To be honest, I've always respected you for some things—like the way that no matter happened, whatever you were going through, you always maintained your dignity in public. If you lost that now...you know what, just don't lose that, okay? Okay._

_Lewis Carrol was popular for Wizarding children? I find that...incredible! I read his books a few summers ago when I was stuck at my aunt and uncle's for months on end. They provide an amazing ecape—the chance to enter a world that's completely foreign, but magical in an entirely new way. I guess I can see the appeal, for __anyone.__ I don't understand how you could consider it pointless! I'm sure there've been times when you wanted an escape as a kid. "Alice in Wonderland" and books like that could have given you just that!_

_I...uh...can't honestly say that I wasn't involved with Buckbeak's escape, so I'll just stay silent, shall I? Yeah, that's probably best.  
>I'm sure that's exactly what it is, you've hit the nail on the head. I was definitely jealous of the attention Pansy was giving you. It definitely couldn't have been resentment that you had just managed to single-handedly (haha!) get a creature sentenced to death.<br>Draco Malfoy, if you say ANYTHING about me to Pansy Parkinson, I will come over there with a particularly nasty hex, just for you. Ugh, I'm shuddering._

_Seriously? You're insulting my vocabulary, of all things? I thought we had moved on to bigger and better things than that. Tsk.  
>I'm pleased, though, that you accepted my apology over your 'sensibilities'. Heaven knows I would have lost sleep if you hadn't deigned to forgive me. (I am seriously concerned about us, sometimes.) I'm absolutely fluttering at being called a complete prat by the great Draco Malfoy, King of all Prats! It's always been one of my heart's innermost desires! Especially now that I know what honour the title holds among Purebloods!<br>You shall have to let me know if your pillow was sympathetic to your lamentations, my dear Draco. _

_And back to the land of the sane-or, relatively sane, anyways. Forgive me for asking this, especially since I said above that I didn't have any questions for you, but I'm curious. If being/having a Malfoy heir is so important, how are you going to manage that? I mean, if you're gay, it's not like you can just get married and have a child. I mean, you could, but... I'm sorry, it's really none of my business, I guess I just want to understand._

_Honestly, Draco, those first few times in first year when I was on the receiving end of your sneer (and yes, a sneer can be good—that just means it's a particularly well-done sneer. Obviously.) I wasn't immune. I'd glare back at you for all I was worth, but I was a bit hurt. Silly, I know, since it was me who turned down your friendship in the first place, but I learned very quickly not to let it get to me._

_My...'relationship' with Cho could probably be accurately described as an experiment. I had decided I fancied her because that's how boys were supposed to feel about girls, and all my roommates were starting to talk about girls as if they were the best thing since sliced bread. I would've done just about anything to be 'normal', too. With Cho, I had a couple of dates, and an incredibly off-putting kiss. That 'relationship' didn't go far.  
>Ginny...Gin was different. I've grown up with her, and she's always been a bit in love with me. It's hard to ignore that. So I thought I loved her. I <em>_did__ love her in some ways—still do. My relationship with her wasn't really an 'experiment' as much as something I thought was right, something I thought I wanted. Ugh, this sounds so clinical. You know what I mean, though, right? I don't really want to get more detailed.  
>I...actually haven't really thought about experimenting now. It just...didn't seem like an option. I mean, I've had so much to do in the last year, in the last few months, even, that experimenting doesn't seem to be too high on my 'to-do' list. You're a mystery to me, Draco, are you...concerned about me? That's incredible.<em>

_I did see the _Prophet_'s follow-up story today, actually. I'm kind of surprised they actually printed it. But I'm pleased that "somebody" called them out on it, too. Sounds like it was more than one somebody, though. I know it got Hermione's hackles raised, she told me that she went in and gave the editor a good what-for, and apparently saw some people at the office she wasn't expecting to. She interrupted my tea with your mother to tell me about it, in fact. So thank you, to the mysterious Somebody wherever or whoever he may be. _

_A relationship between us would be...intense. You're making fun of me, but I said "__almost__ entertaining" because I don't think I'd survive a break-up between the two of us. I think we're both the kind of people who go all or nothing, so our relationship would be...well. An end to that relationship would ruin whatever friendship we have, and I couldn't go back to being your enemy, or rival. Like I said earlier, you're one of the constants in my life. You help me keep a tight hold on reality. Without that...I'd be a bit lost, I think. I guess, in a strange, twisted way, I need my relationship with you, in whatever form it takes. I guess I'm exaggerating a little, I mean I don't think I'd die without you in my life, but I don't think I'd know what to do without you around. And in a way, whatever this friendship-thing we're in right now is something I wouldn't want to be rid of._

_Whoa. Draco Malfoy's __apologizing?__ Everyone take note! I think I need to mark today on my calendar...this __must__ be a first.  
>I think it's healthy for there to be some people who can see through the image you project to the rest of the world—it keeps you human. And Luna, well, she's a bit special that way, isn't she? She always seems to be able to tell what it is the people around her need to hear. She's wonderful. Anyway, Draco, it can't be healthy to be "as cold as ice." You'll freeze that heart of yours, and then where would you be? Definitely not making comments about "wands being the windows to our souls" or telling stupid 'Saviours' to "be careful." <em>

_I suppose you're right about me in Slytherin. I can't predict every eventuality, and even if I could, I don't think I'd want to change Houses. I love my Gryffindor friends and wouldn't want to give them up. And you're right-the ministry would probably have vilified me when I refused to work with them, and then where would I be?_

_Draco. You do realize I defeated said wizard with the __disarming spell__, right? A spell we learned in second year? That doesn't really speak well to my abilities. You have so much more experience with magic that it's something that comes naturally to you. When you're threatened, it's first instinct to reach for your wand, right? That had to be trained into me. My reaction is to defend myself physically. If you want something that's across the room from you, you summon it. I stand up and walk across the room. You have a distinct advantage because of this. Magic is just...normal for you. For me, it's still a wonderment.  
>About sides...I said "<em>_if __we were on opposite sides" because I don't think we were on opposite sides. That being said, I don't think you were completely on my side, either. I'm almost one hundred percent certain you weren't where you wanted to be, or where you belonged, though. You said before that Voldemort was able to make you do what he wanted you to by holding the threat of danger to your family over your head. You were never a willing participant. Perhaps at first, when all you knew of Voldemort were legends and stories, you thought he was great, but actually living through that? If he hadn't been threatening you, what would you have done? Probably not get involved, right? In my books, that's helping me, because you wouldn't have been in the fight at all. And anyways, you helped me when I needed it. To me, that means you were on my side when it counted. _

_No, really, I mean it, I don't think Voldemort was truly evil at his core! I think that once he got into the...things he did, and started experimenting, it corrupted him. The things he did to himself...I don't think __anyone__ could go through that with their sanity intact. I think the major difference between the two of us is that I have people who love me, and I'm happy. I would never consider putting myself through the ordeals he did. If he had had people who genuinely cared about his well-being, like I do, would he have done things differently? Thank you, though, for your faith in me._

_I think I might have to recruit a Hufflepuff. I've been thinking about writing to Hannah for a while, you mentioning her makes me think I should. Although it's definitely too late for her "finding" expertise, unfortunately!_

_Well! I apologize profusely for daring to attempt to overcome prejudices and be friendly! Friendly former rivals? Really? This seems to be getting worse and worse. Maybe we can call each other FFR's!_

_Acceptance is the least I can do, FFR,  
>Always and forever,<br>Harry_

_(PS. I'm never an idiot, you prat!)_

_(PPS. Being a prat is something you do naturally, there's no need to promise that, it's a given!)_

_(PPPS. I'm actually hoping there will never be a time when you don't call me an idiot. x)_

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><p><em><strong>The Daily Prophet<br>July 17, 1998**_

**HARRY POTTER GAY?—THE GRAND REVEAL!**

**Harry Potter recently came to the editor here at the **_**Daily Prophet**_** bearing the news that the Elder Wand—the all-powerful wand believed to be created by Death itself, which has been in his possession since the end of the Battle for Hogwarts—has been destroyed. While I had our elusive Hero in my office I snagged the opportunity that presented itself and asked him for a quick interview on behalf of my readers! I must say, dear readers, this humble editor learned much more that night than she had bargained for! The **_**Prophet **_**published a teaser on Monday, but this is the grand reveal! What follows is the transcribed conversation from that night.**

**I: So you snapped the Elder Wand. What made you decide that was the right thing to do? And why did you do it?**

HP: Honestly, the idea of an all-powerful wand is a frightening one. If Voldemort _had_ actually been the master of the wand our world would have been in a great deal of trouble. The idea of a Dark Lord with an undefeatable wand is terrifying. On top of that, I don't much fancy the idea of some upstart Death-Eater wannabe trying to kill me while I sleep to get his hands on the Elder Wand. I debated for a long time between locking the wand up and snapping it, and after getting some advice from some close friends I decided that snapping it was the best plan.

'**Close friends' being Mr. Ronald Weasley and Miss Hermione Granger, of course.**

Of course. As well as a more...unlikely friend I've recently made, but whose judgement I trust fully.

**Okay, you've got me curious. An unlikely friend?**

I think I'll keep that one to myself for now, but yes, he's not someone I ever saw myself being friends with, but I'm glad it happened. Although he's not likely to approve of me calling him a 'friend'. _–Harry smiles- _

**Oh come on, that sounds delightfully mysterious! A secret friend who's not a friend?**

_-laughs-_ Well, I consider him a friend. He's just not likely to agree to the term.

**Well if that's all we're going to get on that let's move on. Now that this is all over, what's next then, for the great Harry Potter?**

_-Harry sighs-_ Well, now that the trials are over and most of the Death Eaters left are behind bars, I'd love to just sleep for the next few months and not worry about a thing, but I don't really see that happening, somehow. _-grins-_ No, I've got plans to help finish up the reconstruction of Hogwarts, then hopefully finish my last year of school and take my NEWTs. Beyond that, I have no idea. I always thought I would be an Auror, but to be honest, that doesn't really appeal anymore.

**What are you thinking about doing after school, then? Politics? **

God, no! That's probably the last thing I'd ever want to do. No, I'd like to do something to help people, I just haven't fully decided what, yet.

**And what about your love life, Harry? Last we knew you were with Miss Ginevra Weasley. Is that still going on?**

I guess I should have expected this question when we sat down. I'm afraid I don't have much of a love-life at the moment. Ginny and I separated recently, so no, that's not still going on.

**I'm sorry to hear that! **

Oh, no, please don't be! Gin and I both agreed it was for the best, and we're still good friends. We both think we'll be happier this way.

**Can we pry? What caused the big break-up?**

Well, originally we broke up because we had different expectations for our relationship, and neither of us were entirely happy with where it was going.

**You said 'originally.' Is that not still the reason? **

Good catch. No, it's still a part of the reason, but our situation is more complicated than that. See, during school I was worried about far more than discovering myself, so now that the war is over I've gotten the chance to decide what it is I really want, and a relationship with Ginny just isn't it.

**If I might be so bold, what is it you really want on the love-front, then?**

I'm not sure I'm completely ready for this talk, so maybe we should just leave it at that. Ginny knows the true reasons why, and has accepted them, and that's what matters.

**Oh, you can't leave us there, Harry! Give us something!**

I didn't intend to talk about this when I came in here, I just wanted to make sure people knew the Elder Wand was gone, I didn't want to get into relationships at all.

**I understand, of course. Is there a new girl on the horizon, then? **

_-sighs-_ No, there's not a new girl on the horizon. I don't really have any interest in dating at the moment, and I'd really rather not get into, thanks.

**Of course, of course. Maybe you could give us a quick overview of what kind of things in a girl catches the eye of Harry Potter?**

Oh for...I'm gay! I have no interest in another girlfriend, or a relationship with a girl at all!

_Dear readers, let me tell you, at this point there was quite an embarrassingly long pause on both our ends, while I attempted to take that one in and while he scowled at me and waited for a reaction. It took us quite a while to get the interview back on track! I won't transcribe the sputtering and awkward laughs, and I'll just jump right back to the interview!_

**Okay, wow, that was quite a surprise! Tell me, then, are there any young men that have caught your attention?**

_-laughs-_ Of course, we're going this direction, too. I'm not actively looking for someone to be with, so I'm afraid I'm pretty boring on the relationship front. That being said, there _is _someone who's becoming pretty important to me, but I'm not sure the feeling's mutual.

**And what is this gentleman's name? What's he like? Come on, Harry, give us something juicy!**

You mean more juicy than my whole public coming-out? I don't think I can beat that. But regardless, I'm not saying anything about him. Especially since there's not anything to tell, at the moment.

**I suppose that's fair. Thank you for sharing as much as you have!**

_-laughs-_ It was no problem.

So you heard it here first, folks. Harry Potter has finally fully made it out of the metaphorical 'cupboard' of his childhood. Gentlemen, now's your chance! You have a shot at Harry Potter's heart! Ladies, I know it hurts, but on the up side, we still have the strapping Neville Longbottom to long for! Until next time, dear readers.

**-**_**Daily Prophet**_** editor, Catherine Berends.**

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> ! That was. Ok. Well. I think I'm a little bit broken.  
>I'll try for a new chapter ASAP, but I'm about to head into assignment territory... We'll see how it goes. -Lexi<p> 


	11. Chapter 11a

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Harry Potter, including any characters, ideas or events you recognise. We also do not own Alice in Wonderland.

**AN: **I am SO SORRY for how long this update has taken. I've just finished my first semester of university, and let's just say it did not go well. It took a lot out of me. As well as that, Cat dropped quite a few bombs with her last chapter, so Draco's letter took me a while to start. I can't apologise enough. All I can do is ask your forgiveness, and hope that you enjoy this long-awaited chapter. Thank you for your patience. -Lexi

_Harry,_

_I don't understand what you want from me. You say you don't know what you would do without my friendship (alright, Mr Publicity, I'll admit it), but sometimes you say things that make me think— And then there was the interview. I'm not sure you even realise how much you reveal sometimes. Or maybe I'm just reading too much into things?_

_Speaking of the interview, I can see why my mother is helping you with politics, but perhaps someone should give you a crash course on dealing with the press? You didn't have to admit as much as you did. Anyway, you handled it quite well I thought, with an unusual grace! You never had quite the same easy finesse in our conversations at school._

_Now first of all – physical violence? Harry, please tell me you gave as good as you got, or I will have to do something to even the score – and I suspect you may be more merciful than I.  
>When you learn someone is gay, physical violence – even yelling, really – is not an appropriate response to give; not to anyone, not to a friend or a family member, and <em>_especially__ not to you. No one should be treating you this way, not after everything you've been through while trying to save our arses. You deserve better than that. I know they're your friends, and I'm sorry, but that is not fucking okay Harry.  
>And I take back anything nice I ever nearly said about the Weasel. He fucked up and now I'm pissed. If he doesn't come around, I can't see that you would have lost anything worth having. I know that it's not my place to say so, but the guy is a self-righteous wanker. And that's coming from ME.<em>

_I'm not so sure that I __am__ as unimpressed by you as I was at school, you know. It's just that you can still be a complete moron, so I __have__ to call you an idiot. Besides, even back then you were a LITTLE bit impressive, though I could never admit it._

_I'm glad you know Dumbledore cared for you, but I'm sorry you have to live never knowing if you were also a pawn. Maybe one day you'll get a chance to ask him. Or maybe something will happen and it won't feel so important anymore. You can hope for that, at least._

_After what happened to Granger in my home, at the hand of my aunt, while I stood by doing nothing… In a way I __do__ have to worry about her. Offering her second hand advice is the least I can do.  
>It's incredibly strange that your exceptions to the trust rule should be an ex-Death Eater and the woman who harboured the Dark Lord, albeit against her will. As you're making admissions, I shall make one of my own: Lovegood is not the only one too easily able to get under my skin.<em>

_I'm not sure of the logic of constants inspiring loyalty as you proposed. Pansy has been a constant in my life for much longer than seven years, and yet I wouldn't claim to feel loyalty to her. Though perhaps some level of… kinship, I suppose. Shared history and experiences do change things, like you said. But loyalty, I believe, must come from respect. It's a lucky thing then that you're so… No matter what happened, you always did what you felt was right. I respect that. I'm not ashamed to admit that you're a braver wizard than I've ever been._

_I shall do my best to maintain my dignity like you asked; at times it has been all I have. But talking to you… I think I let it slip a little sometimes. I know these letters are hardly public, but since you apparently respect it so much I think you may understand that my dignity stays with me at __all__ times if I can help it; and in a letter, I really should be able to help it._

_My father is Lucius Malfoy and my aunt is Bellatrix Lestrange; for the past year the darkest wizard in living memory has been hiding out in my house. There have __always__ been times that I wanted to escape, even when I was past being classified as a 'kid', but I don't appreciate the idea that I must dumb myself down to get there. And the Wonderland books __are__ pointless, Potter.__Despite all the height changes, Alice never made it through the damn door after the rabbit! It's reading for the sake of reading, not for the knowledge that reading gives you. The assumption that a child's mind wouldn't notice this is just insulting. I escaped through other means._

_Single-handedly, Harry? Really? I broke my arm, and so you make a pun; now I remember why I used to loathe you. Actually, I've been meaning to catch up with Pansy, I'm sure she'd love to hear how lonely and desperate you are! It would serve you right. And she won't let a little thing like someone's sexuality get in her way.  
>Neither will Blaise, by the way, but he does find it encouraging, so I'm going to repeat my suggestion of several letters ago that you <em>_lock your door__._

_Alas, the pillow was not sympathetic to my lamentations, dearest Harry, but the kindly mirror informed me that despite my shocking tendency for bed-hair in the mornings, I am generally a handsome lad worthy of its reflection. What a kind item of furniture.  
>I choose to believe that the pillow remained silent as it cannot speak, rather than because it agrees that I am not a catch. The mirror clearly has flawless taste.<em>

_It is indeed none of your concern how a gay pureblood shall produce an heir, but it is a valid question nonetheless. I suppose the plan has always been to find a suitable wife, if possible, and produce an heir the traditional way. The future of the family is more important than a loving marriage, and 'suitable' would preferably include someone I could get along with, if not respect. Failing that, I'd find a suitable husband and we'd try the expensive and painstaking charm and potion treatment with a trusted surrogate or a professional birthing witch. It's not ideal, though – it doesn't always work, and it can be very stressful for those involved. If even that was not an option, for whatever reason, my spouse and I – or I myself – would take in a more distant heir as ward, and they would become the successor. It may seem over-planned, but you have to remember that I am expected to walk a certain path; with countless witches and wizards having gone before me, it makes sense that there would be a particular system already developed._

_I think I understand what you mean when you say the Weaselette was not an 'experiment'. You never seemed like you were together for the sake of being with someone; you seemed really happy.  
>You should have plenty of offers for experimentation now that you're publicly out; plenty of guys looking for a 'fun time' with the nation's attractive young hero. You could let go a little. But of course I'm not concerned about you – that would be ridiculous. I just mean that not everyone is as virtuous as you and your Gryffindors, and so you should be careful. From a purely disinterested and practical standpoint. You're reading into things Potter.<em>

_Dear Merlin, does Granger have no tact? Alright, I went to speak to the editor – and subtly threaten. I know you won't appreciate that, but I was doing it for me as much as you okay? If they think they can use gay slurs when talking about the __Hero of the Wizarding World__, what kind of language would they use for me? It was self-interested as much as it was furiously indignant._

_You're right, Harry, I was making fun when I said our relationship would be the stuff of legend. But I didn't think you would take it so seriously, or I might have— I don't know. You're right, it would be... difficult, adjusting to a life without you. We're almost inextricably linked: we met at Malkin's; we were constantly facing off at school; and then there was the war... And now this. I want to thank you. I know you weren't saying all that to be kind, but it was… nice, to hear that you need me as much as I feel I need you.  
>But I'm Draco and you're Harry. We used to hate each other. Surely nothing more than this strange friendship can come from that? So why the concern over a break-up that can never happen?<em>

_Honestly, Potter. I may be a snotty Pureblood, but I do know how to apologise when I'm in the wrong. It is true that Malfoy's do not often engage in this practice, but my family's traditional 'practices' have not really gotten us very far. Perhaps if we humbled ourselves a little more it would keep us human, as you say. Admitting to fault and showing regret is a part of humanity, yes? I don't plan to do it __often__, but I think for you I could make the occasional exception.  
>Lovegood is most definitely "a bit special". She's one of the most extraordinary people I've ever met, along with you and my mother. The three of you could be dangerous if you set your minds to something. Perhaps Longbottom too, loathe as I am to admit it; I was grudgingly impressed by his behaviour at school last year.<br>If I'm in danger of 'freezing my heart' I'll definitely have to abandon this "cold as ice" idea then, won't I? It would be cruel to keep you from the phrases that so rivet your attention. Are you ever going to drop the "windows to our souls" thing Harry? You __know__ it's true, you're just cut that I said it first. LET IT GO. Not everybody can be a philosophical genius._

_Ah, but you did manage to reach the point where Voldemort was __able__ to be defeated. You and your friends went on that scavenger hunt, and I don't imagine it would have been easy. How many traps have I ever eluded, how many dark objects have I destroyed, how many powerful wizards have I defeated? Magic may be instinctual to me, but it comes naturally to you. I can't believe I am actually trying to convince you that I am inferior… My point, Harry, is that you are a powerful wizard, and I personally believe that you will need to embrace this fact in order to keep yourself safe.  
>You have an interesting philosophy, Harry. Contrary to the popular Muggle phrase, you seem to believe that those who are not against you are with you. An aspirational concept, seeing friends where there is simply an absence of an enemy. I will have to consider the idea further before I am able to critique it.<em>

_You have to remember that Voldemort __did__ get into those "things" you so carefully avoid defining. It may have been his experimentations that corrupted him, but why did he begin those experiments? You say it is because you have people who love you and he did not – but was he not charismatic and well-liked at Hogwarts? What truly motivated him was greed, a trait of which you embody the opposite; you are the Saviour because you are selfless.  
>And there is no need to thank me; someone must have faith in you if you do not have it in yourself.<em>

_Really, Harry, "FFR" is ridiculous. "Friendly former rivals" makes perfect sense, but you are taking it too far! I think I actually hate you a little bit right now.  
>As influential as your interview was, what with the smug comments about the "secret friend", this "FFR" nonsense is what finally pushed me over the edge. YOU AND I ARE FRIENDS. Happy? (We of course also happen to be former rivals.)<em>

_Considering revoking the term already, __my dear friend__,  
>Always and forever,<br>Draco_

_(PS. Watch who you're calling prat, prat. I have connections. By which I mean my mother is a terrifying woman.)_

_(PPS. Being a prat comes naturally to me? Charming, Harry; as always.)_

_(PPPS. I can guarantee that this time is not likely to ever come; you will forever be an idiot. Idiot. x)_

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><p>AN: Cat here. Can I just say...I don't even mind the wait, because I'm always so freaking excited when Lexi posts a new chapter!

As always, we'd love to hear your thoughts, so feel free to leave us a lovely review!

Much love to you all!


	12. Chapter 12

Hi everyone! Cat here. Thank you guys so much for your patience with us, I know it's been a looong time since the last update!

In other news, I'm lucky enough to have Lexi visiting me here in Canada from Australia! It's really exciting! Hopefully that will also mean that we'll motivate each other to write more often on this for the next couple of months - although I also have to do schoolwork...

Anyways, we love you all who have been reading and reviewing and keeping up with this, and everyone who's just recently joined or is joining...you're all lovely and beautiful people!

-Cat

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><p><em>Draco,<em>

_Oh god. You're right – I seem to be missing a brain-to-mouth filter, which I really appreciate your mother helping me with. She's a god-send. I'd definitely appreciate help dealing with the press, though...are you offering? I'd rather that interview just be forgotten, please. I mean, just...yeah, let's pretend that never happened._

_About the violence, though...as much as I love Ron, I'd never sit back and let him hit me. You, of all people, should know I'm not very good at letting insults slide over me. I...actually don't know what to say, though. It's bizarre that you're the one jumping to my defense. I mean, it's a good bizarre, but still bizarre. But...thank you. Everything you said means a lot to me. I...yeah, thanks._

_Why would you be impressed by me? I can't believe you would have been impressed by me in school – you were the one whose treatment of me never changed. I was always just 'Potter' to you...it didn't matter that I was the "Boy-Who-Lived" or whatever bull shit the Prophet was coming up with...except that it gave you more fodder to mock me with.  
>I'm not sure what, or who, I suppose, gets under your skin, but as that's supposed to be a confession I'll keep that in mind.<em>

_I suppose you're right in that shared acquaintances inspire kinship more than loyalty. Ron's probably a good example in my own life. I don't suppose he feels much loyalty to me, although he's someone I'd consider a brother.  
>I'm so? What were you going to say? Again, thank you for saying that. I'm afraid I don't feel overly brave at the moment, though.<em>

_I have to be honest, here; I enjoy the conversations we've been having, and if you feel like you've given up your dignity in these letters I haven't seen it._

_Reading for the sake of reading isn't demeaning, or less important than reading for knowledge. It's just different. You can read for enjoyment, rather than for the intent to scrounge up some speck of importance in the story line. Alice in Wonderland is a book that's meant for entertainment. Besides that, why do you think reading a fictional story doesn't give you knowledge? There's different kinds of knowledge. (Don't tell Hermione I'm lecturing you about reading, she'd never let me hear the end of it!)_

_Oh, come on, 'single-handedly' was a good pun! It was funny! Don't foist Pansy off on me! I just barely made my way out of one unsuccessful relationship, I'm __begging __you, don't set me up in another! Although you've piqued my interest in Blaise..._

_I'm ever so glad you have a kindly mirror to stroke your ego for you, darling Draco. I'm sure your pillow would be steadfastly on your side as well, if it cares at all whether you are a catch or not._

_You would actually marry a woman and have a child with her, even though you could never truly be in love with her? I mean, I suppose you could have a comfortable relationship, but it would mean you'd settled, instead of finding someone who really makes you happy. I'd much rather see you in a relationship that made you happy and having to spend money, though. I understand how important family is to you, your mother made that abundantly clear to me, I just wish you would take your own happiness into account as well._

_I'm actually genuinely not interested in experimenting. Despite my joking about Blaise earlier, I'm not really looking for a 'good time'. I'm more interested in finding someone serious. I don't want a short-term thing...I'm not really good at relationships like that. I put too much of myself into them. And maybe I was reading too much into your comments...but you got awfully defensive over one teasing comment!_

_Hermione's a Gryffindor – you of all people should realize that we Gryffindors don't __do__ tact! Of course she told me she saw you at the Prophet. You should also realize that I would never stand for anyone directing homophobic slurs at you. _

_Yeah, I'm Harry, you're Draco. We've never really known life without each other in it. Not really, anyway. Not life that mattered – at least to me. We've taken our relationship further in the last few weeks through letters than we have in the last seven years of school rivalry. Who knows where this could go from here. I'm not putting limitations on our friendship._

_I could definitely get used to even just the occasional apology from you. It's nice to have the proof of Draco Malfoy's humanity in written form.  
>Alright, I understand and I'm making a note – enough with the "Ice Prince" puns. As long as you stop pretending you don't have a heart!<em>

_Okay, I'll admit, it's not always that the philosophy "those who aren't against you are with you", as you put it, applies, but during the war it was true. Anyone who refused to join the fight on either side was one less person I had to worry about cursing me or my friends. They were not a threat to me, nor someone I needed to worry about getting hurt. They were more likely to just lock their doors and close their shutters if something was going on down the street than join the fight for either side. So in that way, they were helpful to me._

_Okay, yes, Voldemort was charismatic and well-liked, but he always had 'followers', not friends. That detail is what allowed me to grow up so differently. I'd be interested to know how much would change if Tom Riddle had just had someone who genuinely cared about him while he was growing up.  
>I truly appreciate your faith in me, but I'm far from selfless. And please, dear god, do not call me the 'Saviour'. It sounds horribly wrong coming from you, even as my friend.<em>

_Thank you__, for finally admitting that the 'friendly former rivals' was ridiculous, by the way. You don't hate me, don't be ridiculous. And again...please, __please__ don't talk about that interview. I'm cringing. Really. Shuddering._

_Enjoying the term friend, my friend,  
>Always and forever,<em>

_Harry_

_(PS. I'm calling __you__ a prat, prat!)_

_(PPS. I aim to please, darling!)_

_(PPPS. I'm actually not sure how to express how happy that makes me. x)_

* * *

><p><em>Dear Malfoy,<em>

_Harry mentioned the other day after I saw you in Diagon Alley that he'd been in contact with you. __I must admit, I was surprised to find Harry had been interacting with you, even just through post, and it wasn't a pleasant surprise, either. I trust Harry's judgement, though, and if he says you're worth listening to, then I believe him._

_I know you probably won't appreciate receiving post from me, but I felt it important to write you. I don't know, nor do I want to know, what it is you discuss in your letters - for all I know you could just be exchanging new and creative insults back and forth - but this, whatever it is, has come to be important to him. Please don't let him down. His friends manage to do that well enough without his...newer friends? doing it as well.  
><em>

_Best,_

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

><p>Hey guys! Sorry for the long wait, like Cat said. But it's here now! And it's exciting. Made more so by the fact that we are bouncing feelings off each other at an alarming rate.<p>

Oh and by the way - if you're tearing your hair out regarding the absolute stupidity of these idiots, then rest assured that so are we. We are NOT happy with our boys.

I hope you enjoy! The next letter should be coming very soon.

xx Lexi


	13. Chapter 13a

Hi guys! Told you the wait wouldn't be long. Enjoy!

- Lexi

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><p><em>Harry,<em>

_The interview was a bit of a faux pas on your part, I'll agree. However, you are usually far too cheery in admitting to ridiculous sentimentality; this reluctance for discussion is rather unusual. Shall I take it to mean that you were merely swept away in the moment of revelation and said more than you meant?_

_I'm not sure how much help I would be in regards to the press. In case you haven't noticed, I tend to simply avoid them. But may I suggest that you stick to some sort of script, and exercise your right to 'No comment' more often?_

_I'm glad your penchant for self-respect doesn't desert you when dealing with your best friend.  
>My behaviour in leaping to your defence may seem bizarre, but this issue is one that is important to me. I also felt the need to ensure you understand that Weasley's behaviour was vastly inappropriate; it seems that perhaps I cannot trust your friends' treatment of you as much as I had hoped.<em>

_I'll admit that in school you were initially less impressive than I'd hoped, but you were always the one having the great adventures. And yes, I continued to mock you, but you of course remember our discussion about the Malfoy image.  
>Tell me Harry, are you <em>_deliberately__ obtuse, or have years of being on the receiving end of my hexes really made you that stupid? When I said someone else gets under my skin I meant __you__, you __idiot__. OBVIOUSLY. Do you see anyone else charming me into revealing private thoughts and feelings?_

_About Ron; I don't… Harry, I can't comprehend this. You believe that he – that Weasley – feels little loyalty towards you? After everything that… And yet, with me, there's mutual… respect, and… __trust__? I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm reacting this way, it just… Yeah. I'm sorry; this is something that you're dealing with, and here I am throwing my astonishment in your face. That is the least helpful thing that I could do.  
>At least… I mean, I suppose you consider Granger as loyal? I know that might not… but it's important to have <em>_someone__, right? I hope—I really hope you have at least that._

_Speaking of Granger, I received a __charming__ letter not long after you last; she was just as complimentary as always. At least this shows that you haven't been discussing our letters at length! Not that I would ever expect that of you, you're far too noble for that, but she obviously hasn't heard of my attempts to tone down the condescension lately.  
>She suggested that we could be exchanging new and creative insults; doesn't this seem like an absolutely <em>_marvellous__ idea? I'll start: Potter, your penmanship skills are disgraceful! You're lucky that years of being Professor McGonagall's pupil have left me able to read pheasant scratchings.  
>(Oh dear. I seem to be somewhat out of practice.)<em>

_You say you have to be honest in regards to your enjoyment of our letters. Harry, have you not been honest elsewhere?_

_Perhaps I will tell Granger about your reading lecture! If I'm lucky she'll agree with me in regards to 'Alice in Wonderland', and then I can win this ridiculous argument._

" '_Singley-handedly' was a good pun"? Really, Harry? No. Just stop. Oh, and now you're begging! And all those letters ago you said you'd never be that desperate…_

_If you refuse to heed my warnings then you're welcome to Blaise. I'll let him know you're interested. Though he can get a bit handsy, so you'd best watch yourself if you get squeamish on the first date._

_The mirror is not the only thing that's been stroking my ego lately, dear Harry. Your letters have been oh-so-complimentary at times. But perhaps if my pillow could talk it would convince you I'm a catch? A man can dream…_

_With respect, Harry – my happiness, or lack-of, is my own concern. I appreciate your well-wishes, but I have been thinking about my marriage for a very long time and I will do what I think is best, regardless of anyone's feelings on the matter. In this case your opinion is of no consequence. I hope you can accept that._

_I can understand your feelings regarding experimentation. At this point in life, after everything that has happened, mindless 'fun' doesn't sound all that appealing. If I were to offer up as much of myself in a __serious__ relationship as I have in this one, it would be impossible to walk away from._

_Of course I realise that you would never allow homophobic slurs to be directed at me. You're Harry Potter – you wouldn't stand for slurs directed at anyone! You have repeatedly attempted to defend the intrinsic nature of Dark Lord. So of course I realise that._

_Careful, Harry – you might end up saying something you don't mean again. I'm flattered that you think life didn't matter before me! Joking aside, you were raised by Muggles, weren't you? I can't imagine a life without magic, not when that's who we are. And… I believe you said in one of your letters that they were less than kind?  
>You say that you're not placing limitations on our friendship, but aren't they already there? I can only speak for myself here, but Harry, I don't enjoy tragic tales of heartbreak. Not all Slytherins are masochists.<em>

_If you were aware enough to notice, you'd realise that you now have seven letters containing proof of my humanity. (Or perhaps six, I'm not so sure about that first letter…) You don't need a written apology for that._

_I somehow cannot find fault with your philosophy of good-will – almost gratitude – towards those who stayed out of the war. It makes a surprising amount of sense, when you explain it. You are an amazing man, Harry Potter. I know it can be hard to see that quality in oneself, but you truly amaze me._

_In light of that last paragraph, I'm seeing your Dark Lord philosophy in a new light. That it doesn't matter what did or didn't happen in Tom Riddle's childhood – that can't be changed. But maybe we could stop another child from growing up the same way. Is that what you meant? I still believe that there was never much hope for him, but I can almost understand where you're coming from.  
>Harry, you <em>_are__ the Saviour. To virtually every person in our world, except perhaps you and the rest of Voldemort's supporters._

_Impressed by your previously hidden depths,  
>Always and forever,<em>

_Draco_

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><p><em>For the attention of Ms Granger, regarding her oh-so-complimentary letter:<em>

_Your opinion and approval is of little consequence to me, but like you said, Harry listens to you, and I respect him too much to ignore that. With such being the case, I will frankly tell you that I would never treat Harry in such a way as the Weasel has done, if not others. There are so many reasons why such behaviour would never be an option.  
>And now I will say the same to you: stand by him. He deserves that much.<em>

_Regards,  
>D. Malfoy<em>

_And yes; Harry and I are friends._

* * *

><p>Wow. Hello from Cat, guys! I'm so enjoying how quickly this update happened after my letter! Harry's been punched in the gut a bit here, and I'll hopefully have a response up quickly! Maybe I'll start writing it after dinner...stay tuned!<em><br>_


	14. Chapter 14

Hello, wonderful readers! As you have no doubt noticed, this fic is moving forward again! Rather short chapter here, though, because Harry is struggling with Draco's last letter. Remember, this is epistolary, so all you see in these chapters are letters that Draco, Harry & co see. For more in depth pieces, you'll have to wait for reaction pieces. (Of which there is one coming on Harry's part for chapter 13!)

As always, we don't own Harry Potter or its characters. (I don't think we've done a disclaimer in a while!)

-Cat

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><p><em>Malfoy,<em>

_I feel much the same towards you, as you claim to feel towards me. I suppose I'm glad that you and he are friends now, and that he's told you about Ron's treatment of him. He refuses to discuss it with me, not that I blame him, but it's probably good that he has someone to talk about this with, even if it's a...rather unlikely outlet._

_I can assure you, Malfoy, that Harry will always have me standing by him, no matter what he does or who is against him. He is my best friend, and I love him._

_Best,_

_Hermione Granger_

* * *

><p><em>Narcissa,<em>

_I know we're supposed to meet tomorrow morning, but I'm having a bit of an...emotional conundrum, I suppose, and I'd really appreciate it if we could postpone the meeting. Maybe in a couple days instead?_

_I'm so sorry, please let me know if that's okay!_

_Harry_

* * *

><p>(This is me signing off and saying nothing because that would mean the AN was longer than the chapter.) (But oh gosh guys I am terrified for Harry's next letter.)<p>

-Lexi


	15. Chapter 15

Wow, you guys are seriously spoiled right now. MORE IS COMING. (Though remember, Cat does have papers and quizzes and midterms and reading and icky things to do, too.)

By the way, for those of you who were SUPER HASTY in reading chapter fourteen (by which I mean within, maybe, forty minutes of it first being posted?) you'll notice that we've actually added another note to the end there – just for continuity's sake. So you may want to go back and read that.

With love! - Lexi

* * *

><p><em>Harry,<br>I received another letter from Granger, and she said she was glad you're talking to someone about Ron. It occurs to me that – aside from my bitching and your gratitude – we haven't really discussed it. I know I said once that you are welcome to ask me questions if you ever felt the need, but you have to know that you can talk to me about anything. Or at least, you are welcome to; I won't presume to tell you who to trust.  
>All the best,<br>D_

* * *

><p><em>My dear Harry,<em>

_First you postpone our morning tea due to an "emotional conundrum", and now my son is discreetly enquiring (or so he thinks) about your well-being. Is anything the matter between you and Draco? I understand you haven't been in contact with him for several days now. Beyond that, is everything quite alright with you? I appreciate that if you are experiencing problems with my son, you may not wish to speak with me about them. Just know that I – and Draco – am concerned for you._

_With regards and love,_

_Narcissa_

* * *

><p>Cat here! Harry's letter will be up soon, never fear! I fully appreciate Lexi's patience with me as I attempt to sort through Harry's feelings.<p>

In the meantime, I hope you guys are still enjoying this, and we always love and appreciate any reviews!

Much love.


	16. Chapter 16a

Wow, so hey guys. After all that, here's Harry's letter. You may notice that he carefully avoided some subjects, while going into way too much detail on others. He's a bit ridiculous.  
>I hope you guys enjoy!<br>-Cat

Disclaimer: These lovelies aren't ours! Sadly...

* * *

><p><em>Draco,<em>

_I'm sorry for the delayed reply to your letter. I really honestly had no idea what to say for a long time in reply to it. I'm sure you had the best intentions, but after getting it I was so...yeah, it doesn't matter.  
>Also, thank you for checking on me with your more recent note. I really am alright, but thanks for your concern.<em>

_The reason I'm reluctant to discuss that interview is that I'm realizing that I said quite a few things without thinking. Maybe I'm usually more cheerful about admitting sentimentality because I'm sure of the sentiments I'm admitting. I guess I was just 'swept away', as you said. You, I'm sure, have realized that I was talking about you at some points during the interview, and I meant it when I said you were a friend, and someone who I trust and value, but maybe I should just focus on that._

_I definitely do need to learn how to keep my mouth shut, thank you; I'll focus on that for next time._

_I think that in this case, a penchant for self-respect is a good thing? I suppose you're justified in your concern. You understand a bit more than Ron and Hermione how nerve-wracking it is to have to tell your friends something that may completely change their perceptions of you. Why, though, would you feel as though you need to trust my friends' behaviour towards me? It's really none of your concern, is it?_

_I had thought that perhaps you meant that it was me who gets under your defenses, but I didn't want to presume. It's almost too much to hope that I could affect you the way you affect me. But thank you for being so open with me. It means a lot._

_You misunderstood me, I think. I love and trust Ron. I always have, and probably always will. That hasn't changed. But I don't believe Ron feels loyalty towards me in the same way Hermione does. He doesn't stand by me, through thick and thin, no matter what happens. He's more likely to...react. Hermione is loyal, though, yes. As you can probably tell by that letter she sent you. Don't be offended by it; she worries about me. She thinks I'm coping 'too well' with everything that's happened this last year. I think she's just waiting for me to fall apart, actually.  
>That...that was probably the worst insult I've ever heard from you, Malfoy! You're slacking!<em>

_I try overly hard to be honest in these letters, actually. I'm probably more honest with you than I am with anyone else. Other than Hermione. I scare myself with how honest I am with you. I can't seem to help myself._

_Alright, fine, we'll drop the Alice in Wonderland discussion. But I was right._

_Okay, okay, you've called my bluff! Don't say anything to Blaise, you arse! I'm a traditional sort of guy – no hanky-panky on the first date!_

_I'd really like to comment about the pillow here...but I'll restrain myself. I'm trying a new thing._

_I apologize for overstepping my bounds on the marriage topic. I didn't mean to be too...forward? I don't know. I just forgot that although I've given you free reign to give me your opinions and advice on things, it's not my place to do the same for you._

_It's...actually quite upsetting to me how many of my personal behaviours you attribute to some persona, some ideal; "The Great Harry Potter", instead of understanding that I am not that...god-term. I'm just a person. I'm a man – a boy, really, I'm not even twenty yet – with faults and flaws and imperfections. When I say I wouldn't allow anyone to direct slurs towards you, it's because I, as a person, like you, as a person, well enough to be upset by someone insulting you._

_My Muggle relations...are not something I'd like to get into right now. I will tell you, one day. But at the moment, my head is not in the right place to go into that, and I really just don't feel like confiding in you. You're right, they were 'less than kind', but I managed to live through those years, and I turned out okay, so they're not important._

_It's my...desire, I guess, to make sure that no child feels like they are so alone in this world that they need to be feared to be respected. So yeah, I guess your philosophy is right. There's got to be a way that we can stop children from growing up utterly alone and scared._

_With the utmost trust and respect and admiration, no matter the tone of the letter,  
>Always and forever,<em>

_Harry_

* * *

><p><em>Narcissa,<em>

_Thank you so much for your concern. Everything's fine, I promise. There were a few comments he made in the last letter I received from him that opened my eyes a bit, is all. I realized that I read into things, and place too much emphasis on things, when I have no real reason or excuse to._

_It was an overreaction on my part, and not something that needs to be worried about. Thank you again, for worrying about me, though. Could we perhaps reschedule our morning tea for tomorrow?_

_With love,_

_Harry_

* * *

><p>Guuuuuuuuuys. Reaction piece coming up at 'A Look Inside The Mind of Draco Malfoy', almost definitely within 24 hours. This letter sucked. (In the way that I mean I almost cried and ow and feelings and, sorry for swearing, but just FUCK.) (Living with your co-conspirator is a BAD IDEA. The feeeelings!)<p>

-Lexi


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: **Hey guys! I'm not really sure about Draco's letter this time, but I think it's as done as it's going to get, so. I'm throwing it to you to see what you think. Much love,  
>Lexi xxx<p>

* * *

><p><em>Harry, there is no need for you to apologize regarding your comments on my plans for marriage. I was the one who over-stepped the mark in pushing you away so firmly. You have to understand—Well, no, I'd <em>_like__ for you to understand: marriage to a witch is not something that I want. If __I__ am being overly honest for a change, a forced marriage is something that I want almost as little. But I'm eighteen now, Harry, and I have known for as long as I can recall that this is the way it would be. I will reach a respectable age with no incident; I will marry an acceptable woman; I will produce an heir. What I __want__ has nothing to do with it. My path is set. I'd __like__ to believe in the luxury of choice, but you know the importance I place on my family. I will always do what is best for them. I suppose that is my choice.  
>I had all but come to terms with my future, and then you come along and you spread these ideas of happiness in marriage; of feeling not only respect for my partner, but love. You come along and you stir up these <em>_feelings__, Harry. Feelings I had sworn to myself I was never going to know, because I shouldn't, or maybe because I couldn't… You scare the hell out of me, and so, even though you __are__ my friend, even though I trust you and respect you and highly value your opinions and advice – I pushed you away. And for that, __I__ am sorry._

_The above apology may read as overdramatic, but I felt I handled that situation poorly. I'm not used to having friends who only want what's best for me; learning to be more open might take a little while._

_About the interview: first of all, I want to say thank you for actually responding to my comments; you didn't have to say as much as you did, but I appreciate it. Secondly, I feel we should just get this topic of conversation out in the open: there is great potential for us to be more than friends. If it __was__ me you were referring to in the interview, when you said there was someone who was becoming important to you – then I can assuage your doubts and say that the feeling is more than mutual. After my mother, you are the second most important thing in my life.  
>However, I can respect your decision to focus on the friendship aspect of our relationship. Feelings may not be a choice, but acting on them certainly is, and I'm not a good choice.<em>

_Keeping your mouth shut in interviews may be a wise decision, but definitely don't do it all the time. Your inability to know when to stop is a part of your charm._

_A penchant for self-respect is always a good thing.  
>I wouldn't quite say I <em>_need__ to trust your friends' behaviour… It's more that I thought I could, and I'm disappointed to be proven otherwise. Also, your well-being isn't necessarily my business, but of course it concerns me. You're my friend: concern comes with the territory, even if I may not react so well when it's directed towards me… Beyond that, it would be obvious even to Trelawney that I care about you, and I am fiercely protective of the few things in the world that truly matter to me._

_You affect me, Harry; a lot more than you realise._

_Ignore my response regarding Weasley; I misread your letter.  
>Granger's letter doesn't bother me; she was looking out for you, and she has a right to be concerned. I don't wish to overstep any boundaries, not when I'm currently so unsure of where they lie… But perhaps she has something of a point? Not that you definitely <em>_will__ fall apart at any moment, but that you have been through a lot, even just recently, and it would be understandable if you needed time to adjust. That perhaps, if you're finding it surprisingly easy, you aren't really processing the changes. But then, what do I know about people who can hold themselves __together__? I'm more of an expert on falling apart._

_Though your honesty may not always be willing, I really do appreciate it. I don't think I understood just how valuable such honesty is – in the terms of friendship rather than power – until I received your last letter. _

_It seems strange that after our school years, you're now trying to convince me of your "faults and flaws and imperfections". The "god-term" may be a fantasy, Harry, but you are still a good person. That's actually all I meant, in this instance at least. But you're right, I do dwell on it often, and I shouldn't. After all, you don't see me as merely a Death Eater or a Slytherin, though those are as much a part of my identity as 'hero' is a part of yours.  
>And... thank you, I suppose?<em>

_I'm not sure there __is__ a way to save children from being scared and alone. We can't control the home life of every child. Once that damage is done… You can rise above it, but the pain can last a lifetime._

_Always and forever,  
>Draco<em>

* * *

><p>oh boy...Cat here, at the end.<p>

It's so much more emotional reading these chapters when the writer is sitting and reading them with you...Wow, Harry has so much to take in!

Unfortunately, it may be next week before the next chapter is up...I have midterms, so I can't write at the moment, but it'll be up as soon as I have time to write it!

Much love, to all of you!


	18. Chapter 18

Hey guys! Cat here. Sorry for the long delay on getting this chapter up: like I said in my last A/N, I had midterms last week, and Lexi & I have decided to do NaNoWriMo as well, so we're stressing about word counts, too.

Anyways, without further ado, here's chapter 18! Much love to all you guys who've been reviewing: signed and unsigned!

**Disclaimer: Harry and Draco and all Harry Potter characters do not belong to us! We're just using them! **

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><p><em>Draco,<em>

_I...have to express the confusion I felt as I read your letter. I feel like you pulled me around in so many different directions that I don't know which way is up anymore. Please correct me if I've misunderstood something, I'm terrified that I've taken some things wrong. _

_I understand that you're eighteen. That a marriage to a woman is something you've always expected. I can't imagine, though, that your family line means so much to you and your mother that you and she would be willing to sacrifice your happiness. That doesn't seem much like either of the Malfoys I have come to know. Please don't be offended by that, I didn't mean it cruelly.  
>I have stirred up feelings in you? I just...I mean...what kind of feelings? I'm glad – more than I can fully admit – that you see me as a friend. And likewise, I'm glad to see your apology. I was more hurt by your previous letter than I admitted.<em>

_More than friends – these are the feelings you mentioned? It...it __was__ you who I was referring to in my interview. But I didn't want to scare you, or make you uncomfortable, or push you into admitting anything, and I'm sorry.  
>Look, like I said, I was hurt and upset by your last letter. I said a lot of things without thinking. But this one, I still agree with. If there is a possibility of...us...going further, being...more than friends, though, then I want to leave that open. I believe I do have feelings growing for you. But first, we should learn to be friends. We don't seem to know how yet. But on that note, I don't want to ever hear (or see) you say that you are not a good choice. I don't believe that. You <em>_are__ a good choice. You're a brilliant man. Smart. Funny. Endearing. I would consider myself lucky to have you choose me.  
>My confusion is this: If you're determined to marry a woman, to choose an unhappy marriage for the sake of the Malfoy line, how can there be a chance for us, even if you feel the same as I do? You simultaneously have given me hope and shut it down, and I don't know what to make of it.<em>

_Not being able to keep my mouth shut is part of my charm? If you say so..._

_Obvious even to Trelawney that you care about me, huh? I think I like that. My friends...react the way they think is appropriate. Whether or not it's how I want them to, or how I think they should react. It's something I got used to. And sometimes it's good to have different opinions. _

_I think I've actually just gotten used to holding myself together. It's my natural state. I can't fall apart, I've got too much to do. I fell apart most of fifth year, in front of Ron, Hermione, and Ginny, but afterwards...I realized I can't let myself go. I can't afford to, because the rest of the world is relying on me. I don't know how to fall apart anymore. I guess I don't really 'process' changes, I accept them. Add them to my internal plans and adjust accordingly. _

_About that last bit – thank you, I think? I don't see 'death eater' as a fundamental part of you, and I'd rather you not see 'hero' as a fundamental part of me, so I think it's good that you've equated these to each other? I'm going to assume as much, anyways._

_I...agree. You can't save every child from their home life. But some you can. Some can be rescued. And those that can, should. They should all be given an equal shot at a good life, not condemned to a shitty childhood.  
>And it <em>_is__ possible to rise above a bad childhood. People can be different from what they're raised to be. You and I are both proof of this. Even if the pain stays with us forever, we can have the satisfaction of knowing we're better than they expected us to be._

_With hope that maybe, just maybe, we can move forward into whatever our next stage is,  
>Always and Forever,<em>

_Harry_

* * *

><p><em><em>**AN: **Well. Um. So those of you who've read Draco's last reaction piece, you may understand why I got ridiculously emotional when Harry said Draco was a good choice. Tears were ALMOST a thing. Thank god for Cat hugs.

Response probably coming soon, because I hate my NaNoNovel and it should die! :)  
>-Lexi<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: **Um, so holy shit. This letter. I have way too many feelings about these boys.

**Trigger warning: **Quite a bit of self-hate in this letter. Remember: DO NOT LISTEN TO THE VOICES IN YOUR HEADS. I wish I could write that in the story, but Draco doesn't deal with his depression in a healthy way. If you'd like to read a Draco who does, you can find him in _More Than Anyone Could Ever Know_, which you can find on my profile.

-Lexi

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><p><em>Harry,<em>

_Congratulations! You have just accurately described my feelings after receiving nearly every letter you have written. Why do we do this to ourselves? Wait, no, I remember._

_You… have a point, Harry. I can't imagine why I didn't see it before. By marrying a woman I would be doing what was 'right' for the future of my family, but not for the current Malfoys (if we forget my father for a moment). I would also be continuing a precedent set for me, and perhaps the weight of tradition would cause unhappiness in my children – that isn't what is __best__ for them. Beyond that, there is never any guarantee that a person will have children. Yes, it is expected of me, and I will do all I can to make it happen, but what if it doesn't? I would be making myself miserable for absolutely no reason.  
>By the way – that is how you should handle politics, when you are forced to. Present your point of view in a subtle, matter-of-fact manner, and provided that it is actually the sensible option, your opponents should find it difficult to dispute.<em>

_I… was hoping, and planning, to pretend that you had only stirred up feelings of… of hope, and longing for something more, I suppose. But yes – you have successfully stirred up "more than friends" kind of feelings, too. Is that more of an admittance than talking about potential? Not that it matters either way; it seems I've committed to being honest.  
>I think I will follow your direction in this matter. If I start thinking about the possibility of something actually <em>_happening__ – or worse still, of it not – I may actually forget how to breathe. Why do people do this, Harry? Why lay yourself bare, only to be rejected? Why give someone everything when it might not work out? I know we were joking, or at least kind of joking, when we talked about this crashing and burning, and us not being able to walk away – but I really truly couldn't do it. Harry, what if this doesn't work? I've already given you more than I can stand to lose._

_I don't really know what to say; I actually can't find the words to explain what that means to me. There are a lot of reasons why I'm not a good choice, but hearing it from you… I could almost believe it. And Harry… I think that maybe I would always choose you. This is why I'm currently fucking terrified._

_I don't have an answer for your confusion, or at least not one that will make a lot of sense. In regards to my marriage – I was resigned to marrying for expediency, not for love. Therefore, I might as well do the 'right' thing and marry a woman. If I couldn't make me happy, I could at least make my father happy, right? But with you, everything would be different._

_I agree that difference of opinion is a good thing – I have learnt my lesson well. And people should indeed think for themselves, and react accordingly (we can only hope they have brains enough in their heads to do so). But all the same, there are some lines you do not cross. I'm not forgiving the Weasel so easily for this one, Harry._

_Maybe now that the war is over you could think about taking some time to really digest the changes? Perhaps not all at once, but you could give yourself permission to think about one thing at a time. And maybe one day you'll find yourself closer to being whole? You deserve more than being held together._

_I've never really thought of myself as having risen above my childhood. It's strange, it seems so far behind me and yet it feels like I've barely stepped out of it. I'm not sure I can… dear Merlin, I'm going to sound pathetic, but I'm not sure that I can ever rise above the pain. The things my father told me have become the things I tell myself; they are a part of who I am. I don't think I can ever be more than the coward, the failure, the pathetic excuse for a child who became a pathetic excuse for a man. I'm sorry; I shouldn't be telling you this._

_These letters have become rather short. Perhaps you could explain to me how it is we can learn to be friends? I thought we were doing rather well, but I've had considerably less experience than you._

_Awaiting your response with terror,_

_Your Draco, always and forever_

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><p><em><em>Cat here. Holy crap, guys, these letters are getting intense. I'm going to have to seriously consider Harry's response. Harry's kind of sitting and staring in my head, so I'm going to have to coax a reply out of him.

Hopefully I'll be able to write it tonight, and have it up tomorrow, but no promises.

Much love to everyone, especially those of you who have reviewed, getting your responses is so exciting!


	20. Chapter 20

A/N: Hey guys! Cat here! Sorry this wasn't up as soon as I had expected it to be, but it's here now, and I hope you'll enjoy! Much love!

**Disclaimer: **They're not ours! They don't belong to us, and we take no credit!

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><p><em>Draco,<em>

_I'm not sure whether you're being serious or facetious (yes, I do know the meaning of the word, thanks very much) about my point. I'm guessing from the way you continued that you really didn't see things from the way I did. Honestly, I just want you to be happy. Really and truly happy. And whatever it is that makes you happy, I'm okay with. If that means that marrying a woman and having children with her is what does it, then by all means, don't let me hold you from that. But..._  
><em>I'm still not sure what exactly I did differently that I should continue to do in politics, but thanks?<em>

_I guarantee you, Draco, I am not, and will not be rejecting you. That's something you don't have to be afraid of from me. I'm right there with you – I can't back away from this, or walk away now. You have too much of me._  
><em>I don't fully know how to explain what you make me feel. It's definitely more than friendship. It's not just hope or longing. It's not anything I've felt before. Never. Not with Ginny, not with anyone. I tried to convince myself that this wasn't real, that what I was feeling was just passing, that I was falling in love with a Draco who didn't exist...but it's real, Draco, <span>you're<span> real. And I'm fucking terrified._

_Don't ever believe that, Draco. You are a good choice. If people could see you the way I see you – no one would ever believe differently. I'm, hah, I'm in the exact same position as you, Draco. I even used the same words. Fucking. Terrified. But I'm not going back. I'm going to lay everything out, and Draco, if you're choosing me, I've already chosen you._

_I'd rather you just forget about what your father wants, in all honesty. I'd much rather you be happy. I just need you to remember that you are important. You are._

_To be honest, I haven't quite forgiven Ron yet, either. But I'm hoping he'll come around soon._

_I...thank you, Draco. I'm really not sure how to go about digesting things. I'm honestly still working on digesting the fact that the war is over. And I can't even think about the deaths, yet. I've been to so many funerals that they've stopped having meaning. I keep thinking that maybe things will sink in, but I still expect to see Fred at the shop in Diagon Alley. I keep forgetting that I can't go to Remus for advice. My attendance at funerals became political, instead of personal, and I don't know how to mourn for my friends and the people who died for me._

_I know what you mean. My childhood hovers behind me, haunts me, but it's still in the past. It's behind me. It's over. I want to tell you about my past, but I don't think this is the time. It will come._

_I think we're already friends. I think we're there. You're the person I trust most right now, other than Hermione, who's been there for me since we were children. I tell you more than I mean to. I trust you._

_Wondering where we go from here,_  
><em>Always yours, forever,<em>

_Harry_

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><p><em>Harry,<em>

_I still don't understand what made you decide you're gay, but you're my best mate, and I want to understand. Hermione says I'm being an arse, and maybe I am._

_Write me back, please, and let's fix this?_

_Ron_

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><p><em>Ron,<em>

_Okay. Let's meet. I'm still not happy with you, and I'm not okay with the way you reacted, and it's NOT a decision, but if you want to listen and understand, then I'm okay with talking._

_You're my best mate, too, and I miss having you around. Come by the house later today?_

_Harry._

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>So, my nose hurts from faceplanting on the floor due to feelings. SO MANY of them! Rolling and squealing. BUT 'ALWAYS YOURS, FOREVER'! I CAN'T. I will get back to you guys as soon as I can, but I'm not functioning right now, so I don't know when that will be. Also, you should review to scream at Cat, because she is a smug bastard and she deserves it.  
>- Lexi<p> 


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: **I kind of cannot even after Harry's letter. Too many feelings. And this one doesn't improve on things much… It's been ridiculously difficult to write, so I really hope it came out okay.  
>-Lexi<p>

**Disclaimer: **We do not own our precious, precious boys! Only the tears that flow freely down your cheeks. They are all ours, baby.

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><p><em>Harry,<em>

_After receiving your last letter I needed to see you, but you never seem to be home. (Please don't exhaust yourself working too hard. I understand why you're doing it, but you need to take care of yourself, otherwise I'll worry.) It has been two days now, and I still haven't been able to track you down. My mother might know where you are, but I don't want to ask; she becomes unbearable when she's smug. If I can't see you, I might as well write, so that is what I'm doing._

_You said you want me to be really and truly happy, and for the first time in my life, I think that maybe I could be; maybe I already am. You also said you wouldn't hold me back if marrying a woman was what it took to make me happy, but then you trailed off. I considered asking how you were going to end that sentence, but I think that I already know._

_I— I think I am choosing you, Harry.  
>To use your own words: 'I'm right there with you', too. You are more real than any person I've ever known; you are strong, and fragile, and warm, and vulnerable, and feisty, and hot-headed, and honest, and scared, and hopeful, and damaged, and utterly brilliant, and a complete and utter moron. And I love you. Knowing you feel the same way…. The terror hasn't abated, but it's somehow less… terrifying? I don't understand it.<em>

_I'll… I'll try to remember that I am important. But – we mentioned our childhoods; mine is not so far behind me as yours seems to be. You say you won't reject me, and I fully believe that you mean that, but… Please, don't take it to heart if I can't always believe it to be true. There are parts to me that you still don't understand; __can't__ understand, since I haven't fully revealed them. I think I told you, once, that my mother helped me overcome a certain dark period in my life. Since I also mentioned my father at that point, you probably assumed I was referring to the war, but that is not the only struggle he put us through. My father has always been…. Well, a Slytherin, in the Weasel's sense of the word. He is not a pleasant man, and he has always made his disapproval obvious. Mother once… she talked me out of doing something I would regret; or rather, that I would be unable to regret. I never thought I would be as grateful for her interference as I am right now, but if I still can't accept that I am important, even after all you've said… Please, please don't let it discourage you. Your words mean the world to me Harry, but sometimes his words will be stronger._

_I don't think I can be of much help to you, and I can't decide if that makes me lucky or not. I didn't lose many people during the war, but then not many people were ever important to me. There was only Severus, really, and his funeral was held during the trials, so I didn't have the experience of it not meaning what it should. But when Mother and I got home, we each held our own ceremonies for those we'd lost; maybe you could do the same? Honour your friends, and all the other sacrifices made, in a way that seems right to you. After that, the only way through that I can think of is to lean on those around you, and take it one day at a time._

_Whenever you feel able to talk about your past, I will be here to listen. That goes for anything else that is bothering you, too._

_Also – I don't mind where we go, now that we've made it here._

_Feeling ridiculous about it, but missing you anyway,  
>Always and forever,<br>Draco_

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><p>Cat here! Oh boy, I absolutely love where this is going! Lexi and I are soon to have a serious discussion about where we'll be taking these letters. We honestly hadn't thought much further than the boys getting together, but we had, and have, so many other things we want to get into...I think we possibly have a solution (BUT you'll have to wait and see what it is!), we just need to develop it further.<p>

On that note, I need to seriously consider Harry's reaction to this letter...hope to have another chapter up soon!

Much love, my darlings!


	22. Chapter 22

So, hey guys. Quick update, because apparently I couldn't stay away. :P

Hope you enjoy!

-Cat

**Disclaimer: **They are not ours!

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><p><em>Draco,<em>

_I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. It didn't even occur to me that you might come by. I don't know why. I've been at Hogwarts pretty much all day every day. We're trying to get the castle repaired in time for school to open on September first. There's still so much to do. And evenings I spend at the Ministry with Hermione, or helping Luna out with the Quibbler, or at the Burrow with the Weasleys.  
>Your mother probably would have known where I was, since I have tea with her most mornings, but I can definitely understand not wanting to ask her.<em>

_Hermione's already got a position lined up at the Ministry, did you know? She's decided to take her NEWTS in the fall, then go study politics at a school in London. Technically, that's not required, but this is Hermione we're talking about. But it means she won't be going back to Hogwarts in the fall. Ron's been working at Fred & George's shop, helping George out since Fred's not around any more, so he won't be going back, either.  
>Speaking of Ron, we talked the other day. Ron said he wanted to understand. Mrs. Weasleys' brothers were gay, did you know? So according to Ron it's not that I'm gay that's the problem – the problem is that I never told him and I led his sister on. Which, okay, how am I supposed to tell him if <span>I<span> don't even know? And it's not like I didn't love Ginny, right? I did. It just wasn't the right kind of love. I don't know what he wants from me. Anyway, we managed to have a civil conversation, at least, and he didn't hit me again, which is nice. I think we're going to be okay. I mean, I'm still not happy with him, and he still has a lot to make up for, but at least he's trying, I guess._

_That paragraph went way off topic. I actually meant to ask you if you were going to be going back to Hogwarts in the fall?_

_You...you have no idea how happy, excited, ecstatic, overwhelmed it makes me to hear – read? - you say that you're choosing me. God, Draco, I just...I'm so happy. And I definitely need to see you. Soon. You...love me? I mean, yeah, I'm pretty well head over heels for you, but to see those words written...makes a sort of ridiculous bubble fill up in my chest. It feels like it's pressing on my heart and on my lungs, and making it hard to breathe, but it's also the very best feeling in the world. Better than the relief when Voldemort died, better than coming back to Hogwarts after the holidays, better than finding out I was a wizard on my eleventh birthday. There's still a...jumbled feeling in my stomach, but I feel more relaxed now._

_I will remind you every day, if that's what it takes, that you are important. So here's your daily reminder, Draco: You are incredibly, wonderfully, amazingly important. You dropped a lot of hints in that paragraph, and Draco, forgive me if I'm being too blunt or forward or anything, but I have to know...did you try to kill yourself? Because if that's true, I'm more grateful to your mother for convincing you not to than for her saving my life. I'm also even more grateful your father is behind bars, and locked away, far from you. Whatever it takes, Draco, to make you realize that whatever your father did to you, whatever he made you believe is wrong, I'll do it._

_About the war – I'm very happy that you don't have to deal with many losses, and I'm more sorry than I can say about Snape. I hated him so much in school, and it wasn't until after, until he was dying that I realized how amazing he truly was. He was a good man, and I know you must be incredibly proud of him, as much as you miss him. I won't do you the disservice of telling you that 'I'm sorry for your loss', because I have come to absolutely hate the phrase. People seem to think those words are the be-all, end-all words of mourning. They're impersonal, bland words that have become the go-to phrase. When you lose someone, of course, everyone is 'very sorry for your loss'. As if that actually means anything. I've heard those words repeated so often in the last few weeks that they don't hold any meaning anymore. They're just words. They mean nothing. And the people saying them aren't actually sorry. They just know that they should say something, and what else is there to say? I don't know, Draco, why do people think that 'I'm sorry for your loss' is actually going to help me feel better? They're not going to make George feel any better about losing Fred. They're not going to make Teddy feel any better about losing his parents when he grows up. They're not going to make Dennis Creevey miss his brother any less. The only person 'I'm sorry for your loss' makes feel better is the person saying it. Suddenly, a load of guilt is taken from their shoulders, and their duty is done. _

_Sorry. You didn't need to read most of that. I'm just...there's got to be an end to this somewhere, right? I've been to sixty-three funerals in the months since the end. Sixty-three._

_I do really like the idea of holding private ceremonies for the people we lost, though. It's so much more personal and meaningful. Thank you, Draco. That's a wonderful idea._

_The same goes for you, you know. Any time you decide you're ready to talk about your past, or anything. I'm here. _

_I want to see you in person – can we please organize something? And those two days without a letter from you – I missed you, too, so don't feel ridiculous._

_Feeling like a lovesick teenager, but not really minding,_

_Always and forever,_

_Harry_

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><p>Our boys are in looooove! (Yes, that is all my mind is doing right now.)<br>Freaking finally, right? But don't worry, we don't have plans for this to end any time soon! The next phase has already been set in motion. *insert evil cackle here*  
>-Lexi<p> 


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: **Feeeeeeeeeeeelings. *Lexi melts into a puddle on the floor*

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><p><em>My Harry,<em>

_Perhaps you should apologise less? You nearly gave me a heart attack. Speaking of which, you're doing nothing to appease my worry about you working too hard. I'm glad you're apparently taking time to have tea with my mother, but perhaps you could arrange an afternoon off? Maybe Thursday? I could treat you to lunch, then help you relax… Okay, that sounds like my mind is in the gutter. And maybe it is, just a little, but I would be happy just spending time with you. You need to rest, Harry._

_I'm not sure how much an education on Muggle politics will help within the Ministry – our worlds are vastly different – but I suppose I can admire Granger's relentless enthusiasm. I'm somewhat surprised at her, though; I wouldn't think she'd ever pass up further years of education.  
>As displeased as I am with the Weasel, at least his decision to help his brother is somewhat honourable. But do you realise this is the first time you've confirmed his intentions to hit you? I realise he is your friend, Harry, but I cannot promise any future meeting between the two of us will be pleasant. As for his displeasure about you not telling him sooner, well, you never thought he was the brightest of people, did you?<br>The right kind of love; that's a good way to describe this, isn't it?_

_I won't be returning to Hogwarts. McGonagall informed me that I would be welcome back, and that the teachers would ensure I wasn't treated differently because of my role in the war, but I don't think it's possible. They have as much reason to hate me as the students – perhaps even more. Did you realise that the Muggle-born first years will be stepping into what was once a war zone, without even knowing it? Anyway, that's not the final reason that I'm not going. They're not chasing me away. It's just…. It's in my past now. Hogwarts is a part of my childhood, and I want to put that boy behind me. Beyond that, it's the place where my world repeatedly crashed down around me: where I heard news of my father's arrest, where I tried to carry out the task the Dark Lord had set me, where I first began to realise that I'd made the wrong choices… It's the place where those choices finally caught up with me. I honestly don't know how you manage to go back there every day, considering all that you lost on those grounds.  
>What about you? Will you be returning to school?<em>

_I'm happy, excited, ecstatic that you're happy, excited, ecstatic. It's what you deserve, and the fact that I could somehow give that to you…. Well yeah, it's a little overwhelming. I think I'm honestly still waiting for the realisation to sink in. It doesn't seem real – so much about these letters don't seem real. If it wasn't for that (amazing, wonderful) interview you gave to the Prophet, I think I'd check myself into Mungo's.  
>I do need to see you. I think I need to touch you before I can let myself believe all of this – that somehow I have you, that I've chosen you but you've chosen me too. It just… You're too good to be true, Harry.<em>

_You will remind me that I am important every day? You see, this is exactly what I mean. You cannot be real – this can't actually be happening to me. (All the same, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you.)_

_I – yes, I did try to… do that. I'm sorry; I thought I'd be better at talking about this. My mother and I sometimes mention that night, and I know that I trust you, so I thought I would be able to talk about it, but… I __will__ someday, just not through a letter. I can't do that, not even with you.  
>Harry, you shouldn't be more grateful to her for saving me than saving you. Without me… Some people would miss me, but the world would go on. Without you, it wouldn't have.<em>

_Severus and I were close when I was young; he was like a father to me, or at least what I imagine a father should be. But with the war, everything became confused. There were so many truths – some with undesirable consequences attached – that I didn't know what to believe. I regret not trusting him as I grew older. I regret never knowing what a great man he was, until it was too late. I regret that he couldn't be saved, and that I couldn't save him. I regret, sometimes, that my father lived while he died. But you're right, I am proud. I'm proud to have known him, and humbled to have been loved by him. I'm glad you didn't say you were sorry for my loss, because I don't think I could ever consider myself as having lost a thing for Severus' presence in my life.  
>You're right, of course. People should speak from the heart. But I don't think many people understand how to deal with death as it affects others; I think death scares us. I think those people probably do want to help, but they don't know how, so they speak those apparently acceptable words and then they run.<br>_

_You don't need to apologise, Harry. I would read anything you cared to write. Sixty-three…. Harry, I know you're hell-bent on your ridiculous Hero Stuff; I understand you wanting Hogwarts to be open again. But you really need to __rest__. Ignore my suggestion of Thursday – well, actually, don't, I want to see you. But you need to actually __take some time__. At least a week, love, you need time to breathe. Promise me you'll at least think about it?_

_I'll definitely take you up on that offer to talk, but not until I'm beside you._

_Even with your letter in my hand, I miss you._

_With love,  
>Always and forever,<br>Your Draco_

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><p>AN: what the heck. i'm dead. i actually collapsed on the bed, dead. cuddling with my SeBEARstianto attempt to regain my sanity.

Hopefully I'll be able to sort Harry out and get a reply soon, but I have a research paper for uni due next week that i also need to write...but I SHALL DO MY BEST.

Much love to all our reviewers, Lexi & i get very excited by the reviews, and especially to those consistent reviewers that are sticking with us...we love you.

-Cat


	24. Chapter 24

Hey theeere. So all the feedback we got from the last chapter was just lovely! You are all the best readers, ever.

Again, sorry for the wait, but I've been so incredibly stressed out about school and such...I've barely seen Lexi this weekend, and she's living in my house! On that note, without further ado, chapter 24!

**Disclaimer: They're not ours, as much as we'd love to claim them!**

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><p><em>Good morning, Draco, you are important.<em>  
><em>Do you believe it today? Say it out loud, okay? Just humour me, I know it's silly. You are important to me, and I love you. I do.<em>

_Lunch and the afternoon with you on Thursday sounds absolutely amazing, actually. I wouldn't mind if your mind was a bit in the gutter, either. And I'm not working myself too hard, really. There's just so much to do._

_I think Hermione's actually considering taking a few history courses at the Wizarding College in London while she's taking political science courses. Of course, to Hermione, a few courses probably means she'll have a degree in history in no time._  
><em>I spoke a bit more to Ron last night, too. Apparently he's mostly sorted now. And I want to forgive him. I do forgive him. But I also don't really want to see him right now, either. Is that contradictory?<em>  
><em>I'm...disappointed you won't be back at Hogwarts. I am going back. I want to get my N.E.W.T.s. It's been implied that I don't need them, and that I could get jobs without them, but that's not what I want.<em>  
><em>It would have been lovely to spend classes with you where we aren't subtly (or not so) wishing harm on each other, or to be able to spend weekends at Hogsmeade together, though. I'm actually not sure what to expect from this year. It'll be the first year that Voldemort isn't after me. I've never had a normal school year. Not that I expect this year to be normal.<em>  
><em>But I do understand what you mean. You're not the same person any more. It would be like regressing to go back.<em>

_I didn't even think about the first year Muggle-borns not knowing about the war. It's bizarre to think that anyone, regardless of who they are, wouldn't know. It was just such a big part of our lives._

_I won't push you to talk about this, Draco, as much as I want to know _- not something this big, this important_. Especially not through a letter. This is something intensely personal, and I can't even imagine trying to live through that, let alone try to relive it by telling someone about what you went through. All the same, Draco, I'm so incredibly glad that you did live through it, and that you're here now. With me._

_I think Snape'd be proud of you, Draco. I know that's really not my place, and I don't have any real right to tell you that, but it's true. I think he would be._

_It's not Hero-stuff. I'm not a fucking hero. I'm not. Well, maybe it is 'hero-stuff' to the rest of the world, but Draco it's not like I chose this. But I can't let people down, either. It's because of me they died. How can I not go to the funerals or memorial services or ceremonies or whatever else? I have to show my respect for them. I can't let them think I'm not appreciative. And Hogwarts is a mess, and McGonagall needs all the help she can get, and I have breaks, I do, I relax. I go to Luna's and spend time with her, and hang out with Hermione, but I can't just stop, I'll go crazy. I need to be doing something helpful and productive and constructive._

_I need to see you. Please, Thursday at the latest._

_Much love,_

_Always and forever,_

_your Harry_

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><p><em>Hello Draco,<em>

_You'll never guess what I just discovered! I found a colony of moon frogs out in Wales! I'm taking the day off of the Quibbler, to go take a look. Isn't that exciting? I know we always do lunch on Tuesdays, but perhaps we could reschedule for dinner on Wednesday, instead? Come by my place, I'll even cook for you!_

_Hoping you'll have midwidgets fly through your home today,_

_Luna_

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><p>Hey guys! Cat and I have just realised that the letters are kind of filler at this point. We have something HUGE coming soon, but other than that we're a bit poor on plot. We're trying frantically to figure out how to ruin their lives in order to have something to fix, but just a warning that if we can't think of anything, this will be wrapping up pretty soon.<br>-Lexi


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